After I came back from drop off, I was still tired so I went back to bed. I lay in bed naked feeling the wetness of my cunt, knowing I couldn't touch it. My hands went back to my breasts, teasing my nipples I felt the knowing of wanting to be fucked, used for his pleasure.
When I woke up to get ready for my meeting, I found an email from "R". He told me he is amused by the portion of the blog I had sent to him, which doesn't make me think he likes it. He wondered why I would be blushing when I sent it to him, what he doesn't know is that every time I push send my heart beats faster. I don't know what he will think or how he will react and that makes me feel anxious.
He did mention that he wanted me to write more little things. Like walking down sidewalk and see a black mans bulge, wishing I could touch my cunt. He wants me to carry a pad with me so I can write things down. Then he talked about how if I were a good sub instead of wishing I could be fucked by a man, I say that I need a man to use my ass for his pleasure. "R" also says its hard to train a sub mentally.
When I read that statement it scared me that he may not want to train me, that I may never make it out of cyberland with him. My instincts want to take over to protect myself and just stop talking to him, but I can't. I just won't answer his email until later when I have had a chance to absorb what he said.
I didn't realize but he had sent a second email that was at the bottom. It asked me yes or no, was I up for something different? Something that would happen only when I was alone. I answered yes.