I heard back from "A", he told me that he had wanted to exert control over me but that I was too uptight and wouldn't relax, so he held back. Said that he just wanted me to loosen up and have fun. Doesn't he realize that taking control of the situation & me would have relaxed me. Then he said that the ball was in my court, its my decision what happens next. OMG he just doesn't get it! Maybe its me, maybe I want something that is illusive. Will I ever find someone who can take control without waiting for me to say go?
I really wish that I would hear back from "R" so that I don't have to respond back to "A" because I know he would definitely take me out again, but doing so would mean I controlled the situation - the exact opposite of what I wanted.