I was ready, 4:20 came and the text read Busy, you will have to call me later. I wondered if he was just playing with me or if he really was busy. So I waited, laying in my bed with a tiny see through skirt & bra on, heels, no panties and I started playing with my nipples and rubbing my legs. I re-read what I had planned to say and thought how ridiculous it sounded and then I started to panic. The next text was 4:35 and read give me 10 min. 4:52 and it read u may call me now.
My heart flipped and I immediately dialed him. He answered and I couldn't say what I had planned. Which seemed to be OK because he started talking. I felt relieved and went along with the flow. We talked about things and occasionally he would go towards the d/s relationship, but mostly I just listened and I rubbed my ass for most of the conversation, I found it very comforting.
There were a couple of times when he would ask me a question and I didn't understand, but I asked and he clarified. My brain seemed to turn to mush. There were things he said that made me catch my breathe only he didn't realize the effect it had on me. He is so quick with his words and sometimes its difficult for me to say whats on my mind quickly, one of the reasons I enjoy writing this blog.
He told me I needed to ask a question, but that he had a conference call and I had to pick up my son. I am dizzy at the thought of asking, I have never asked in my life. I have always been in charge and even though this is what I had always wanted, its still hard to ask - I want to trust.
I sent him a invitation to view my blog after we spoke. I felt ready to take that step and I know with a little courage I will be ready to ask for permission to cum, it doesn't even matter if he tells me no - I just need to get past the being scared to take the step issue. I don't even know if that makes sense, lol - in my brain it does.