I coun't sleep last night, some of it was ending it with "R", placing the ad again and some of it was "K". He had this incredible sexy voice, very confident. I was very flustered by his call and I felt like I needed to let him know why I was so put offish. So at 1:30am I wrote him:
"I enjoyed speaking with you tonight, you have a wonderful sexy voice.
However I just went through a relationship with a man, similar to yourself, but the relationship for the most part stayed on line. He used mental collaring to audition me to see if I was worth training & collaring. The reason this worked for him was because he had a 6yr old living with him and this allowed him to have contact with me and not disrupt his life. When I pushed for more contact he told me I just needed to do what was asked. We ended it. So if I am hesitant on the phone, just know I have plenty to share but I am not going down that path again. I am looking forward to meeting you next week."

This morning as I am walking through Publix my phone rings. Its "K" calling to say good morning. I was surprised, pleasantly. He told me he received my email and wanted to assure me that he did not want an online relationship (same thing "R" told me over and over). He told me he wanted to look me in the eye to see my reactions and that he may have to see me today, to let me know he was real. Then in the cereal isle he began to talk to me and say things to me, that really turned me on. Nothing obviously dirty but just very suggestive and knowing - when he talks to me I expect to look up and see him standing there. I ended up leaning against the isle all curled up listening to him, I felt dizzy and wet. After we were done talking he had me text him a picture of myself, I am sure to see that I was all flushed. When I got home he sent me a text to meet him at the Starbucks, I had 40 min to shower and put on my makeup. I was to wear a skirt and heels.

I raced to get ready, usually I have a nice leisurely shower but not today. I got there first and since this Starbucks had no couches I sat at the bar with my chai tea. He came up and sat next to me and immediately starting rubbing my leg, My first reaction was one of surprise, though I liked it. He was just as confident in person and I responded to that. He whispered in my ear about things he could do to me right there and even at one point convinced me to open my legs, but he didn't put his hand in there - it was just to see if I would do it. He rubbed the inside of my thigh and told me he wouldn't go any further. When he took his hand away I collapsed against him, what an unusual physical reaction. He consoled me and asked me to go outside, I was nervous because I didn't know what he had in mind. We went outside for a walk and he kissed me again, held me and touched me. I would have done anything at that point, but thank goodness I didn't. I asked him if he had a business card and he said not with him, that set off a bell in my brain - I knew right away he was married. I thought OMG he's one of those guys you hear about, some creap off CL. We said goodbye and as I was driving home I knew he was not what I was looking for. Yes I would have had a great time with him, but that's not what I want. I want to build trust and have a great relationship, where I can be free to be who I am and give myself over totally.

He called me and I told him exactly how I felt. He tried to talk me out of it but I held firm, he's said he was going to call me after the holidays.

I just let myself be molested in Starbucks, LOL! It felt great to almost let myself go, I know when it really happens its going to be amazing, but I also know I won't be able to totally let go with just anybody, trust is so important for me.

PS "K" just called again, he said that he wanted to see how my day was going. I really didn't understand the call, I told him he's not ready to share his life and he said you may be surprised. I think he just wants to find a way to sleep with me and that he's prepared to work hard for.

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