Stage 6 heading for 7

I was reading a blog (I can't remember who, sorry) and they had posted an article called Stages.  It lists the Seven Stages of Kinky/BDSM Growth.

Stage 6:
The partner-search stage.
Within an existing relationship or finding a new one. (most people tend to do mix this up with the third stage) There may very well be a partner available at this moment, however, it is time for the partners to grow towards the same level of information and understanding and both partners now have to identify their "common ground". For existing couples it is a time to review their new relationship. For singles it is now time to lick their wounds from previous stages and restart the search for a partner, only better equipped this time.

Without even realizing I have gone through the first 5 throughout my life and now am at the partner search stage and heading to The Revolving Stage, where one grows, learns, experiments, grows again with a partner and truly embraces the power exchange.

Which brings me to the other topic I have been thinking about, protection. Sin wrote about it the other day and it got me to thinking. I don't have anybody to protect me so I have to protect myself.

"Sin wrote: I would agree that the submissive is particularly vulnerable in the period where she (or he) is looking for a Dominant. Submissives want to submit, but also have to make rational decisions to protect themselves. They balance desire with safety, or they should. This is complicated by so many factors, particularly in relationships which will feature things like pain or humiliation, which are based on imbalance."

I can tell you right now with "R", I want to end it because I don't think he wants to nurture this relationship and I am having trust issues. My inner voice tells me to get out but I am so drawn to him, its difficult and because this is so new to me I am unsure of what is right and what is wrong. We have only seen each other one time, very vanilla and we have been communicating for about a month. Now we live only several miles from each other, my feeling is we should be going out and getting to know each other to build up the trust. Last week I expressed my feeling and today I received an email telling me to get used to feeling insecure, that if he were to ever own me that I would feel that way all the time, then he gave me more tasks to do, totally discounting my feelings.

I understand the insecure part (I like that feeling) but don't I need to be able to trust you before we get to that point? Am I being unrealistic? This is where I would like to have someone else who knows this world to step in and offer advice, so that I can see clearly to protect myself.

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