I was reading a blog I follow and this passage really spoke to me. Until someone actually put in words I had always wondered why.
"In such a situation the child may often feel that the father fails adequately to fulfil his role. He doesn’t stand up for the child when the mother is unkind, he doesn’t protect her. And so it may be that in adult life the woman searches for a man who will fulfil that role. A good dom is not only a figure of authority who provides necessary guidance and discipline, and even punishment if it is deserved (which is also the means to achieve atonement and forgiveness); a good dom also nurtures his submissive, comforts and protects her, encourages her, praises her, all things which a good father would also do. She trusts him; he is the one person who will not let her down. She craves his approval, dreads his displeasure, strives constantly not to disappoint him. Of course a dom is not actually the father, because he also does what no good father would do; he fucks her. He understands the precise nature of the sexual pleasure she craves and he satisfies her need. This, presumably, is her ideal combination; the dom is both nurturing, and fulfilling."