Resolution: a commitment that an individual makes at New Year's Day.

Every year New Years Resolutions are made and broken (not by me of course, I'm perfect LMAO). So this year I'm not making any (stomping my foot down, like a two year old). This year I am going to make a promise to myself, I am going to get that tattoo I have wanted since I started this journey last year.

My friend sent me this picture and it reminded me that I still wanted a tattoo. For over a year I kept going back and forth about what I wanted but now I have decided I want the butterfly. He said "that the back of my neck would be a good place, somewhere only I know about it and it would be a symbol of me and who I was as a submissive". He gave me permission (rolling my eyes, giggle)  to steal his idea. Such a wise and knowing man (yes I'm flattering you, lol).

So my resolution promise to myself is to make sure I get this tattoo done.

I wish a Happy New Year to all. May the new year bring you prosperity and happiness in your life!!

I read this on FetLife and I wanted to share it: written by celticfirestorm

May this new year bring you all the things you want it to be.
May you choose more wisely than before. May you think, before you act.
May you let others really know, you love them,before it is too late.
May you forgive, and make up your differences.
May you find the good in others ,and overlook their faults, as we are all imperfect.
May you find the rough diamond and keep it, polish it, but stop looking for stones.
Appreciate what you do have, instead of complaining what you don't have.
May you spend wisely and save when you can.
Help and give to those less fortunate, even if it is just your time.
May you grow mentally and spiritually, for wisdom is ageless and never ending.
May you find or make a new friend and cherish them as you would all other friends.
May you "pay it forward" and do something nice for someone, without expecting anything in return.
May you take your time in deciding important matters, keeping eyes wide open for all possibilities.
May you consider your words carefully, before you open your mouth, as once said, they can not be taken back.

Thank you celticfirestorm very wise words - Happy New Year may we all be a little better than the year before.

Never too late

A reader is looking for some guidance to change his 23 yrs of (happy) vanilla marriage to a D's relationship. Now I know what you are thinking, 23 yrs WOW, why now?

Well why not, it's never too late to try something new! (cheering)

In his marriage he is the take charge husband, takes care of things that a man should. He is the breadwinner, pays all the bills, etc. he calls it the "natural order of things". (good start)

His sex life is tame but he suspects his wife might be interested in more - I say if that's the way he feels then she probably is and he should be confident in his decision to move forward.

What he is worried about is the 23 yrs of vanilla history - this is where I feel he needs to be confident and take charge of the relationship in the bedroom, moving it towards a D's relationship. Small steps are a good start, adding more each time. If you wife is submissive she will follow your lead down the path, confidence is key.

He's not interested in having an affair or play partner - bravo to him for wanting to try with his wife.

Everyone, young and old, have to start somewhere, so here is where you can help...

Please leave a comment or send me an email to pass along to him with information on books, sites or even just tips to help him begin his journey. I know there are a couple of readers who are married and have had success adding D's to their vanilla marriage, please share your blog address, specific posts that apply or any positive comments for him.

Thanks to all!


I can't remember where I got this link but thank you to the blogger who also posted this a while ago. There was more to the analysis and it all seemed spot on for me.

Sensitive and thoughtful, you're a naturally caring person. You have a very balanced view of things, and your friends know they can rely on your for wise words and support. Reliable and trustworthy, you seek harmony and balance in your life.

You tend to value routine and security. Sometimes life can get on top of you and it seems like you're on your own. Don't give in to your natural tendency to hibernate when you're feeling low.

It seems like you're ready for a devoted relationship. One in which you're able to be truly intimate and bare your soul by sharing your deepest hopes and fears. You're a deeply passionate person and will go to extreme lengths for love. You're naturally open and find it easy to make connections.

 It's all about intuition and chemistry and being swept off your feet. You're enthusiastic and expressive and want to experience the kind of all-consuming love that takes your breath away. Sometimes the feelings are so strong that passion rules over reason, so be mindful of taking things too quickly and be sure to give your head time to catch up with your heart.

All I want for Christmas

To offer oneself completely and utterly to another, to surrender all choices and “power”.... 


Matchmaker Again

My last six degrees of separation brought together two very special people who are exploring with each other, a rare find indeed. So I when I was asked to try again, I thought those who can't do, if I can't find my one at least somebody else can. So my friends reach into your bag of tricks and see if you can help with this match.

Dominant Man Wanted:

I have a friend looking for a Dom who holds the key to her heart.

She is a beautiful, confident, sexual submissive woman in search of a Dominant man for a monogamous relationship (so no married men). She has limited experience, only the knowledge that she will be complete with this type of dynamic. She needs someone she can give herself completely too without fear.

"To find the One that fits, you must find an initial connection, build a trust and relationship that is not built from the interactions of a Dominant and submissive".
- Erospainter
Long distance is a good beginning but eventually she wants to be with that person, so relocation for either party will be a must. He will be more of sensual Dom than sadistic, he will be 30's to late 40's, tall, educated, secure with his position in life. He will want to build trust while moving forward into a D's relationship, he will be protective and caring.

Remember the rules: no submitting until he takes the time to get to know you. A Dom who doesn't take the time to get to know you isn't really going to be able to take the control you are offering unless he know what makes you tick. As always Dom's work pretty fast, so keep in mind there is no timetable. Also: because this is a sub, you must have references, or I already know you - in other words you must be able to prove who you are.

If you are a Dominant Man interested in meeting a submissive woman or if you are even curious, please contact me through email or post a comment (that will be kept confidential and NOT published).

If you know someone who might be interested then tell friend. Life is short lets help each other out.



Some­times I want to explore your mind, walk­ing through the tem­pest of your thoughts, your desires, your agony and your pain. To soak myself in the rain of your emo­tions and come away sticky and drip­ping with feel­ing know­ing that I have just expe­ri­enced some­thing that no other ever has.

Some­times I want to hold your hand and dry your tears when the pain feels too much to bear. To fold you into my wings and shield you from pry­ing eyes. To rock you while you are shak­ing and purely be there to hear your screams. To be the chest your fists may pound. To dive into the dark­ness with you and guide you back.

Some­times I want to rest my head on your soft bosom, feel­ing your slen­der fin­gers stroking my hair, being nur­tured by you, soothed by you, enveloped by your heart. To nurse from your soul like a baby, to lose myself in your warmth, to recharge in your radi­ance so I may once again stand up and face the world.

Some­times I want to tease you with words so sul­try and steam­ing with pas­sion that your body weeps with desire and your clothes stick to your skin. To force you to excuse your­self so you may release the obses­sion grow­ing in your loins. To drive you insane with uncer­tainty and desire. To feel my lips quirk in a smug smile as your mind is rac­ing and you mewl like a cat in heat.

Some­times I want to explore your body, like a blind man see­ing with his hands. To feel the sleek strands of your hair part­ing for my nose to draw your scent in, to feel the smooth soft­ness of your breasts yield to my lips, to feel your very body open up and enfold my insis­tently prob­ing fin­gers until they are lost to the world.

Some­times I want to bury my face between your thighs, to coat my face with your juices, to have it invade my nos­trils so I will smell you for hours after­wards. To lap your drool­ing cunt with long, lan­guid strokes. To flick and tease your clit just before I bite down on it. To dip my fin­gers in your snatch and then reach up and let you lick them clean.

Some­times I want to slam you into the wall, my breath ragged with des­per­ate arousal, tear­ing holes in your clothes in impa­tience to get to the soft, ten­der skin under­neath. To be con­sumed with need to feel your body sur­round me. To enter you every­where at once; one hand in your mouth, one hand in your cunt, and one cock in your ass. To pos­sess you com­pletely and utterly and totally.

Some­times I want to bend you over by a sin­gle com­mand and pull your panties off your creamy ass and spank your petu­lance out of you, blis­ter­ing blow after blis­ter­ing blow. To make you cry. To have you fall at my knees and sob in con­tri­tion as you promise me softly to be a good girl yet again. At least for a while.

Some­times I want to tie you up in a lit­tle pack­age, immo­bile, a present for me to play with, expos­ing your most ten­der flesh, open for me to part, to tease, to plea­sure, to vio­late. To play your body like an instru­ment, to ignore your pleas for release, in fact to draw amuse­ment from your plight. To tease your impa­tience like never before; to deny you release for an eter­nity and then to extract release after release for another. To not let you go until I am done with you.

Some­times I want to slap your breasts and your face. To see your eyes well with tears as you stand there, sub­mit­ting to my use and abuse of you. To seize you. To bask in the glory of your brav­ery and strength as I con­sume you and hurt you. To claim you. To feed off the gen­tle and inex­haustible power within you. To feel your flesh yield and yet never break.

Some­times I want to do unspeak­able things to you, things you do not want to have done to you, things that leave you cry­ing in des­per­a­tion and shame. To strad­dle you like a ban­shee, to slash at you with fangs and claws, to tear at you where you do not wish to be torn and to drink your blood as if it was my last meal.

And some­times, I sim­ply want to feel your thighs around my hips, your body open for me, invit­ing me, wel­com­ing me. To feel our souls col­lid­ing deep inside your womb. To con­nect in sedate pas­sion, to savor each and every sen­sa­tion, every slid­ing inch, every quiv­er­ing tremor. To fall asleep, finally sat­is­fied and full to the brink with seren­ity. To be at peace.

-Dreamwalker Sadistic Poet


When you cup her face in your hands and she looks at you dream­ily through half-​lidded eyes…
When her rapid, shal­low breaths have taken on a sweet tinge and her half-​parted lips are dry because she for­gets to wet them…
When there are red embers of under­stand­ing reflect­ing in her eyes but the fire is burn­ing in her body and in her heart…
When she sur­ren­ders so deeply that you know in your mind and your soul that she will do any­thing, any­thing, for you…
And all you want right then and there, is to kiss her.
When you can have any­thing, when she will give you every­thing, and there is noth­ing you want more than to
reach a fin­ger in her mouth to wet it and paint her lips to moisten them, when the answer to the burn­ing need inside you is to lick those lips…
When she sur­ren­ders so deeply that she for­gets to kiss back and you lick her lips, devour her lips, bite her lips,
and she gazes back uncom­pre­hend­ingly;
when you match your breath­ing to hers so that you take in her sweet breath…
When the only rea­son her knees haven’t buck­led under her is that she has for­got­ten to fall;
when the only rea­son she is still stand­ing is that you haven’t given her per­mis­sion to crum­ble…
When she is sac­ri­fic­ing her body on the altar of your desire and all you have to do is to reach out and take it all, when you can be as self­ish as you want, and the most self­ish thing you can think of is
to kiss her…
When you want noth­ing more, and noth­ing less, than to kiss her; when kiss­ing her is the answer to every fuck­ing scream in your body…
Then you real­ize that every­thing you thought you knew about your­self, and the power of a sub­mis­sive woman, isn’t worth a crap.

-Dreamwalker Sadistic Poet


I read this several hours ago, couldn't get to my computer and now I am trying to cook a late breakfast - multitasking, angry and hopped up on diet coke & chai tea, a great combination for a post. :)

A friend sent me a post from Her Spirit His, she wrote about how a man had taken advantage of her and she was embarrassed. She had given him money. (sigh - head shaking).

This is a topic which makes me angry because about 5 yrs ago I was with a man who turned out to be a con-man, a gambler. Now if you have never met a man like this then you don't know that he wins you over before he goes in for the kill. He lulls you into thinking that you are important to him, have a place in his heart. Then slowly over time he shares himself with you and since you believe you are in a relationship that is equal, you think nothing of giving him what he wants. All in all he took over $6000 from me, a single mother of two. I gave him everything, my heart, a place to live, became a mother to his sons and myself. In the end I kicked him out, packed all his stuff in garbage bags and put them on the curb. I also burned what ever I found later because it was better than the alternative of what I really wanted to do. Run him down with my car, slash all his tires, plaster his face on a billboard with a warning sign, have him taken care of in a dark alley...and anything else that I could think of.

I also had a friend who was on a dating site and was talking to a man. This man was very suave and had the perfect profile. Widowed, child, lived close but not to close, engineer, traveled for business, looking for love, etc. As a matter of fact he was abroad when they began talking. He lulled her in and then played the sob story card. His computer & wallet had been stolen and he was stranded abroad. He asked her for money. Thank goodness she had friends around her that told her that was a red flag, that somebody traveling on business would have other avenues to find a way home. Turns out this is a con-game played through the dating sites on lots of women. Someone tried to play it on me several times through a vanilla site but I was wise to them. Reported their profile and had it removed.

So when I say her post makes me angry, its men who take advantage of women that make me angry. No man should be asking for money from a woman...unless they are married.

Kat you shouldn't be embarrassed you should feel taken advantage of, you were a victim. I was a victim, I learned a very hard lesson but I have forgiven him and myself. So that I could move on with my life in a positive way.

I left his fate to Karma....Karma is a bitch that never forgets!


Mortality is the condition of being mortal, or susceptible to death; the opposite of immortality.

Every day I try to read the new postings that appear on my blog roll. There are the usual ones that post almost everyday and then there are ones that post only once a week. Slowly I have noticed ones that I used to read have fallen to the bottom of the roll...where did they go? Why did they stop writing?

I don't think of anyone as being immortal, eventually we must all cease to exist. I do take for granted that the blogs I read will post, that when I wake up and scroll through my i-phone there will be something there to read. But what if they just stopped? What if they never posted again?

Most of us have never met or even seen a photo of one another. We would like to think because we read about each other that we have insight into our day to day lives but really they are just words on a page. We use our imaginations to try to figure out what kind of person that he or she would be or what they would look like.

We take for granted that their posts will be there, but what if they (you or I) experienced mortality...where would we send the flowers?

Exposing yourself

It takes strength & courage 
exposing yourself...
sharing your deepest secrets trusting that he will take your hand so that you feel safe, protected...


I receive messages that leave me scratching my head, wondering what the heck they want. They range from one liners to paragraphs.

"you are beautiful"

"love your pictures"

"happy holidays"

"your eyes are gorgeous"

"you are most welcome to chat about any subject"

"hey lil one"

"pretty woman"

"this sub owned"

"I don't play games, you will be trained to serve and pleasure me, you will be used as I desire"

"I am a 6'3 Tall Dominant Caucasian Male with Piercing Eyes, Large Solid Frame. Very masculine, strong, manicured and well groomed, I am intelligent, educated, outgoing, and posses excellent communication and writing skills. I lead my life, my vanilla life and my D/s life all with a high level of honor and integrity. I am strict but fair, compassionate, understanding and loving. I am described by my friends as Insightful, Empathetic, Thoughtful, Creative, Intuitive, Balanced My life revolves around principles of loyalty, honor, trust & respect. Respect is not given, unless it is earned, if you give it, you'll get it. it's a lesson well learned"

"might this sub like to chat yahoo or msn im" - I threw this one in because I get requests like this all the time. It has a touch of the middle ages and leaves me wondering who has time to sit around all day and chat on yahoo. Mysteriously I've learned that these men usually can communicate during the day (while they are at work) but then comes the night they are no where to be seen - strange :) they must think we are total idiots.

Whenever I receive messages like these, I am never sure why they are writing. Are they interested, are they sharing their thoughts/beliefs, are they looking for a friend, are they trolling, are they sending me their resume, etc. Why do so many D's feel the need to send cryptic messages? Do they really have so little confidence in themselves.
I want a clear message, no games. I would also say this applies to emails that are like fishing expeditions, never really saying what they want. So I just go with the assumption they want to be friends.

Life doesn't have to be that complicated. KISS - keep it simple stupid because I just want to know what you want, I respond to that straight upfront tone....I'm submissive for god's sake, lol.

"Hi I'm interested in getting to know you...blah blah blah."
"Hi I liked your profile & picture and I want to know more"
"Here's my picture and profile, I would love to know more about you"

easy pesie lemon squeezie

I wrote this post at least a while ago and never felt it was quite right until last night when I heard a song on the radio that brought this posting full circle for me.

Ocho - Undress My Mind, it wasn't the song that caught my attention it was the be continued


OK I'm not really against cookies, I am just against baking them myself. All those wonderful recipes that got posted today sound yummy and delicious, as long as somebody else is making them for me. Did you know that The Wellesley Cookie Exchange, a famous American cookie exchange, began in 1971 as a way to relieve holiday stress. You should feel stress free with all those cookies around.

Did you ever wonder what the top rated store bought chocolate chip cookie is from Consumer Reports?

Tate's Bake Shop Chocolate Chip Cookies - I've never seen them here, but they look delicious. Chocolate Chip cookies are also the state cookie for Massachusetts & Pennsylvania.

Best tasting store bought cookie dough from Consumer Reports?

Trader Joe's Chunky Cookie Dough - sounds great, but again we don't have that here (sigh).

FACT: Did you know that private label cookie sales are double than Nabisco Oreo & Chips Ahoy - could that be because those taste like cardboard (but double stuff will do in a pinch). 

Top selling Girl Scout Cookie - Thin Mints accounting for 25% of the sales - no surprise there, yummy in my tummy! Plus they freeze. Girl Scout's began selling in 1920 and the first commercially baked cookies were in 1934.

Did you know there was never a Betty Crocker? She was created by the Washburn-Crosby Company in Minneapolis—a predecessor of General Mills. The name Betty Crocker was chosen to be this person. Crocker was taken from William G. Crocker, the recently retired director of the company. The name Betty was chosen because it sounded cheery and wholesome and also was an extremely popular name in the 1920's. An artist was commissioned to create a portrait of Betty and came up with the matronly, white, middle-aged woman—her iconic look was established in 1936. Over the next eight decades her “look” would change 7 more times.

Finally my favorite cookie....Peanut Butter - as Goldilocks said "just right", they can't be too soft or too hard. I have not found one that I truly love, a real must have. Its really very sad when you think about it. No Dom and no PB Cookie (giggle).


We all know that the world of BDSM is small because it stays in the closet (so to speak). Even though I have readers from all over the world, the chances of my stepping outside my door and meeting another kinkster are slim to none. It stays small because most people don't openly go around talking about this lifestyle, which is a shame because if more people were just open and honest life, would be different.

There is something called Six Degrees of Serparation that refers to the idea that everyone is on average approximately six steps away, by way of introduction, from any other person on Earth, so that a chain of, "a friend of a friend" statements can be made, on average, to connect any two people in six steps or fewer. 

I have made a lot of friends through my blog, some I know personally, some I know from their blogs, some just lurk around anonymously, some find me through Fet Life and some find me through word of mouth. So when a friend of mine told me he was looking for a sub, I thought this would be a good place to mention it. Because you never know who is out there looking and curious.

You might ask why am I not interested? Well he's a friend and it would be weird, plus there is no attraction because I don't see him in that way. What I do see is a terrific Dom looking for someone, just like I am and don't we all need a helping hand (even Dom's). So I am going to play Matchmaker, D's style.

I watch the Millionaire Matchmaker and her rules are no sex without monagamy, no in, in or in (as she's pointing).  Well it's the same with a D's relationship, no submitting until he takes the time to get to know you. A Dom who doesn't take the time to get to know you isn't really going to be able to take the control you are offering unless he knows what makes you tick. Of course some most all Dom's work pretty fast, so keep in mind there is no time table.

So if you are a submissive woman looking for a Dominant for an online relationship to start then this could be the man for you.

A strong and compassionate dominant male who knows his strengths, weakness's, limitations and is confident in who he is, his abilities and what he desires. He knows the difference between being Dominant and being cruel. He understands the need for punishment and when its appropriate and proportionate and its role. He seeks one who desires to wear his collar and desires to make a commitment to build a bond.

He seeks a strong and caring submissive female who finds pleasure in sharing life. One who seeks to reach for better each day. Someone who is ready to give herself completely. Someone whom he can give himself to completely. Someone who is fiercely loyal and long's to be submissive. One who seeks and desires to be in a D/s partnership. Remembering D/s is not a one way relationship both serve each other and compliment each other in their roles.

Submission is about making a choice. Because you do have choices. You choose to hand over control, you choose to be owned, you choose to submit. You decide to give another person control and the ability to make decisions on our behalf. Submission is not about being a mindless doormat with no mental capability of one's own. It is taking a leap of faith and letting go enough to be Dominated by another human being. It is having a strong enough sense of self that you can allow that self to fall under the control of somebody else's domain. It is about being under the control of someone besides yourself.

It requires trust and acceptance. Trust that you will not be irrevocably damaged, that you will give and also receive, that your Dominant will keep your best interests in mind. Acceptance of the Dominant factor's rule as law, the choices that will be made for both, the things that will be done to both, of the inevitable changes that occur when both take a leap of faith and know they will be caught before hitting bottom.

If you are a submissive woman interested or even curious please contact me through email or post a comment (that will be kept confidential and NOT published). If you know someone who might be interested in exploring their submissivness then please remember the Six Degrees of Separation and tell a friend of a friend. Life is short, help someone find happiness and it will return to you in spades.

Coming Soon
As part of my Matchmaking services I will be adding a couple of associates for future services:
Private Investigator - submissive woman who can find out anything about anyone with little or almost no information. She's a pitbull that doesn't let go until she get's her man.
Rent a Dom (RAD) - Don't have a current Dom - rent one. Basic to Advanced Services available (for those of you (like me) who feel the need to justify.

la la la

I don't know if this is a good club to be in...but I got hit by Anon, the anonymous commenter. So going forward my comments will be approved by me. Which is disappointing because I am all for no content warning page or word verification, I find it annoying. Which is why I did away with it on my page, I prefer instant gratification.

Unfortunately with all that freedom comes great responsibility, apparently too much for some people to handle. So I must step in (like the government) and hold your hand and treat you all like children. The rest of you that know how act at the table are just going to have to suck it up suffer. At least when you leave your comments you will know that I am reading each and everyone before I publish them. 


It's no surprise that there was family drama this holiday. We have one black sheep that came home for the holidays and it caused drama like our family has never seen. The details are unimportant, every family has that person that causes problems at the cost of every one's feelings, so I am sure you can relate.

When we all sat down for the "family discussion" my brother took the lead, he calmly stated his position and was very firm about his feelings. I was very proud of him. He mentioned that the elder man in our family had not put his family first but had instead chosen the black sheep above us all. My sister in law chimed in and told how my brother had handled a business situation for her and how it had made her life much easier. I was surprised by this statement because I had given her The Surrendered Wife book several year ago and everything that she was saying came right from the pages. I didn't think she had read it or believed in it. I smiled to myself because I was happy that she had taken it seriously, because their marriage had been teetering at that time.

As I sat back and watched my brother handle the situation and his wife support him, I realized that is what I missed in my life. I was so glad he was there to take control because it was something that could have brought irreparable harm to our family. That moment at the table I felt relieved and protected because my brother had stepped up, something I haven't felt in a while.

Through all of this dating and searching I had begun to lose site of what I wanted, instead I had become numb from the moronic men I had been coming across. I had even begun to question if I wanted to date at all, I was burned out. That last one was so BAD that I didn't want to even be near a man. But as I listened to my brother defend us to the family member, I remembered what I wanted. I want to find someone who will be there to put himself between me and the problem, I want a knight in shining armor.

I read a posting from kitty the other day about just this subject. Daddy had stepped up to protect kitty against the anonymous blogging commenter, it was beautiful - he was her knight in shining armor.

Thanks for the comment, nice to see you are talking to me again - even if I do live here in Florida I'm only an email away.

WRM - Follow Up

First I have to say I finally figured out when I copy and paste the words turn up with a white back round (and it makes me crazy) - sorry, I will be more careful.

Follow up to comments from yesterdays Wanted Well-Rounded Man posting.

Cowboy - I love a man with a sense of humor, so thank you for the giggle. Those weren't the replies, those were the introductions. If someone sends me a decent introduction then I write back to let them know if I am interested, either way. Unless of course they were just disgusting then I just block them. I am even OK with a vague profile, it can all be discussed in emails or chat. What gets me is the "what would you like to know about me". If you can't answer a simple question with a simple conversation starting answer then you don't deserve my attention. I almost feel like it is a test to see if they can take the lead, because after all they are the Dom and I need to feel that from the beginning.

Anonymous - I understand that emails sent to perspective subs aren't always answered, I have heard that from other men. I know if I don't feel we are match I won't hesitate to let you know, but that's just me. But just like vanilla dating it takes time and patience. Not everyone you think is beautiful is attracted to you or your profile for one reason or another.
In my opinion the  first correspondence should be short and simple, a little more than "hey hows it going" or "daddy knows what you want", but something that catches my attention and lures me in to responding. KISS - keep it simple stupid (no offense). If we don't all keep trying we may just miss the best thing since sliced bread.

William - CM is no different than any other dating site. I hear the same complaints from friends on Match and E Harmony. There are jerks and bitches everywhere.

Southern Sir - My profile on CM tells about what I want, doesn't give to much personal info but all of that can be filled in for the right man. I have seen men with one line or even nothing, that doesn't exclude them from my interest. Where they f-ck it up is in the response and that is sad because this should be their time to shine. By responding positively I have shown interest, all they have to do is show me what they've got.

Sky - Don't be sorry, its the "have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince" situation. Good luck wading back into the pool! Can't wait to hear all about your trials online.

Florida Dom - If only there were more like you. Really men think we are complicated but really its very simple. By the way - who told you the secret, lol!

Aisha - What you and Sir X have it unique, you know that after having been on the dating scene for so long. You have found that one in a million. Hugs to you!

Remember this is just my point of view as a submissive woman. I can't speak for others and certainly can't speak for men. I can only learn, grow and keep moving forward searching for someone to share myself with. I will make mistakes, change my mind about what I am looking for and have fun all at the same time but always keeping my sense of humor.

Turns out the guy who I blew up on, is new to the lifestyle but his apology to me was pretty great.

"No I do not believe that the paragraph explains who I am.  It just explains what I am hoping share for the remainder of life.  No, I am a complex giving person seeking the same.  I reached out to you because of you wonderful words.  I do appreciate your response.  I know ANY relationship be it family, friends or co-workers can be successful when trust and honesty exist without exception.  I did not have the right to invade you space without first clearing a path.  For that I am sorry".

Unfortunately he turned out to be someone who needs some guidance and I am not a topping from the bottom kind of girl, so I offered my friendship instead.

Wanted: Well Rounded Man

Wanted: a man who loves this lifestyle and can hold a normal conversation and not just spew out ridiculous statements about D's.

I was talking with a friend the other day and I posed a question...why is it the men who contact me are so focused on D's. So much so that its all they talk about. They can't seem to hold a conversation about regular things. Don't get me wrong I love D's and everything about it, but I clearly state in my profile that I am looking for someone who is well rounded. I believe this is truly the mark of a quality man. Instead I get these ridiculous one line introductions from men who are having a conversation with themselves. No where in these statements is there something that says I would like to start a conversation with you, it says I want to Dom you and the hell with what you want.

  • "Are you owned?"
  • "Do you want to give me your mind?"
  • "Holding your heart in the palm of my hand"
  • "Elusive a good thing...the mind...then the body"
  • "Capturing ones mind...yes"
  • "I appreciate you"
  • "Daddy would love to put you on your knees and teach you"
  • "You need to kneel and worship"
  • "I am new in the area and looking for a women like yourself that can service both our need"
  • "Dominant male seeking a true submissive. Looking forward to being serviced by you"
  • "I'm your man, call and will give you homework"

Yes after I read these I just want to fall at your feet, lol! It reminds me of walking by a construction job site and some guy calling out something like "you want a piece of this" while holding his equipment. Does he think that the woman is going to say "yes you are just what I have been waiting for".

Really this whole conversation was set off by yet another man who talked at me instead of to me (I have noticed that I get a lot of emails that talk at me and not to me). Yes we have the same position but we already know this, we are both on CM. Even after he sent this I tried to get him to have a conversation with me and he tried but then resorted back to more of the D's stuff because that was all he could talk to me about, I felt sorry for him.

"The relationship, you seek is similar to the one I seek.  There is more to D/s than positions, pain for pain sake, etc.  It is that shared secret that allows for greater intimacy, communication and beyond that a mutual adoration. But that is the problem with so many in this  "lifestyle."  It is part of a lifestyle, not the entire thing.  There is a point where you have something to do other than sex and there needs to be that connection at all levels.  It is difficult enough to find someone with whom you can share that in a pure vanilla relationship.  You add in D/s and it reduces the number who understand that intelligence is part of the attractiveness, that an appreciation of art, music, theatre, travel, etc. are all part of the relationship; and you have truly reduced the numbers down".

Then I mentioned to my friend that I am able to hold normal conversations with other Dom's without an issue. Which leads me to wonder if it's easier to let a relationship come from a friendship? Is the pressure from both parties too great because they want it so bad? ....or are they simply relationship retarded :)

I was contacted by a man who seemed normal, good introduction and was happy when I replied. OK so far so good. He let me know that he wouldn't be able to answer my message until the next day.  I had asked him to please tell me about himself. Keep in mind that his profile was a couple of sentences strictly about wanting a D/s relationship. No problem. The next day when he wrote back he said: my profile says exactly what I am looking for, what else would you like to know about me and can you please send me another picture. The poor bastard never knew what hit him.

In my defense it really wasn't him so much as it was just an accumulation of others, he just caught me at a moment of...well a lack of self control an insane moment. My answer to him was:

"Do you really believe that the paragraph that is your profile explains who you are? If so then you are very one dimensional and we are not a match. My profile clearly states that I am looking for someone to get to know me and build a relationship of trust. No you can't have another picture, you haven't earned my trust, you haven't even made an effort to get to know me or even explain why you are reaching out to someone in another state. I am not the one who should be leading the conversation, you reached out to me - you are supposed to be the dominant one".

Yes I know...A little lot over the top. It was an impulse reaction to a combination of others who had come before him, he just happened to be the one who got shot. Maybe it was the holidays, family, turkey or maybe I had just had enough bullshit. The world will never know how many bad responses it takes before this submissive just implodes. By the way he wrote back and apologized, I also apologized for over reacting.

Vacation Sunday

"It’s hard for an educated woman to turn her head off. That’s part of the joy of being a submissive. None of the decisions are yours. When you can’t refuse anything and can’t even move, those voices in your head go silent. All you can do, and all you are permitted to do, is feel.”

Cherise Sinclair

This is one of my favorites and the end of my vacation, we now return you to your regularly scheduled blog postings. Hope you all had a wonderful holiday!

Vacation Saturday

Respect the woman,
Desire the slut
Cherish the little girl
then you have the mind, the body and the soul

Vacation Friday

Seduce my mind and you can have my body

Find my soul and I'm yours forever

Happy Thanksgiving Humor

WARNING: this posting is NOT fuzzy, warm and full of thankfulness!!
Yes the family is here

This is what I wanted to do

Gratuitous Sexual cartoon

Then of course there's the shopping games...which begin at midnight after the dishes have been done

After dinner activities

Ok here's what we'll do - you get the Halo Anniversary Edition: UNSC Warthog and I'll go for the Cabbage Patch Kids Limited Vintage Edition. Who ever gets done first goes for the Transformers Dark of the Moon Optimus Prime. Remember failure is not an option.

Happy Holiday!

Vacation Wednesday

When a woman submits its because she has found the strength to do so. The belief in herself to take on such a role she can only do so when she feels unconditional love and soul guiding trust. She has to understand her purpose and how important she is to Him and how important she is to herself.

Vacation Tuesday

My soul is his, as bare to his touch as ever my skin could be when I kneel naked at his feet. Never a moment goes by when I do not feel his presence, be he miles away or standing over me. If I were to ever displease him, his displeasure would be a blow to my soul, worse punishment than any lashes could be. The anguish of my soul that I feel when I disappoint him is harder to bear than the physical anguish I feel when his belt caresses me with fire.
I spend my days knowing that the energy and thought he puts into our relationship is as much for my benefit as for his, and look forward to each lovingly crafted scene that we do together. His part is much harder than mine, and I know this and am grateful that he cares enough about me to spend his time and energy so freely on me. I have the easier job: to feel, to experience, to let myself go and abandon everything to him. I am his pleasure and his responsibility, and he takes both seriously.

Vacation Monday

Marilyn Monroe

"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes. I am out of control and at times hard to handle, but if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best"


Recently kitten for Sir wrote about furthering her bdsm education and posted an article from Iron Gate about Qualities of a Successful Dominant. I went to Iron Gate because I am always trying to learn something new, but what stood out to me were some passages that hit home from previous relationships. There are other articles on this site relating to everything from Dom's to subs and everything in between.

"...But "getting back" at a resistant or upset submissive who's wounded you by your withdrawing from her physically or emotionally or through angry punishment or emotional rages of your own will simply ensure that your relationship quickly becomes conventional in terms of power. Your submissive learns that you can't control yourself, that you have no clue about how to deal with her passive-aggressive or manipulative attempts at resisting you, or that you are a coward who runs away from confrontation. In other words, she learns that, instead of being the great and wonderful dominant that you appeared to be on line, you're really just an angry, scared, or wounded little child who is no more emotionally mature than she".

"Learning not to respond narcissistically--i.e., with anger, personal affront, hurt, or defensiveness--when she behaves in a resisting or manipulative way, is part of self-control. Instead of overreacting, a self-controlled dominant will rationally and over time devise workable strategies based on his intimate knowledge of his submissive that discourage the behavior and attitudes he dislikes".

"The most common form of running away, of abdicating the dominant's responsibility, is to blame all the relationship problems on the submissive, pretending that she is ultimately the responsible one".

Once you stop learning, you start dying...Albert Einstein


I would like to thank the I didn't make the top 100 bloggers (Congratulations to all those who did, we are so proud of you and all your kinkiness) but I did get nominated for a VBA. Yes that's right a VBA (scratching my head), no I had never heard of it either. Apparently someone out there loved me enough to include me in their award posting.

My favorite male sub Clive gave me VBA...and now I feel all itchy.  Thanks Clive :)
The Versatile Blogger Award was given to me by Clive from Clives Journey (who has sent me pictures of butterfly's from England) and all I can think is follow the instructions (there are a lot of moving parts to this) and don't screw it up.

Then Cuddlykitten at Finding Myself also included me in her list. I feel so loved!! She has a well written blog about trying to figure how to make her life work with BDSM. Good read and she gives coupon tips!

So thank you (blowing kisses) to Clive & Cuddlykitten (your $50 is in the mail) for your love and support here in blogging world!

  1. Thank the award-giver and link back to them in your post
  2. Share 7 things about yourself
  3. Pass this award along to 15 blogs you enjoy reading
  4. Contact your chosen bloggers to let them know about the award

7 Things about myself:

1. I love the color pink and all things that are pink and sparkly
2. I like to drive fast with the top down, windows open, radio blaring - especially at night
3. I want to win the lottery so I can have a new set of sheets (Egyptian cotton 2000 thread count) every month and someone to wash & change them every day
4. I love my children, they have turned into quite amazing miniature adults
5. I love diet coke from a fountain with a certain type of ice (laugh now she's insane)
6. I love statues & pictures of woman (no I'm not bi) - the female form is just so soft and flowing (maybe that's why I have such an issue with men sending me their business pictures, even though I love them in person photo's are not quite the same)
7. I love Winnie the Pooh

15 Blogs I enjoy
**First these are in particular order and second this was very difficult because there are so many great blogs out there, so please don't feel slighted if you weren't mentioned - I love everyone of them for different reasons

1. Aisha - I have been enjoying Aisha's blog for a while and have felt very much a part of her life, always an encouraging word.
2. A Dauntless Journey - always has such great advice and you know when he writes a comment, he really put some thought into what he has to say, just like his posts. He is the kind of man I would like to find.
3. A Masters Viewpoint of the BDSM World - sort of like a text book with a human point of view.
4. Sexual Dynamics: Memoirs of a Disciplined Dom - he was my first...the first blog I read about BDSM. He has such a way of writing that made me read his entire blog - start to finish.
5. Vanillamoms Blog - one of my favorite story tellers. Sometimes a little dark and sometimes a little fluffy but always interesting.
6. Finding my Submission - open and honest about her long distance relationship and how she makes it all work.
7. Kitten for Sir - she is a happy, very centered special friend who has found happiness in the land of D's.
8. A Neo Dom's Journey - a dominant man trying to navigate his marriage into the world of D's, honest and from the heart.
9. A Kind Dom - a man who is not afraid to say I'm Dominant but I don't know it all, there is always something new to learn.
10. A Desire to Yield - my beautiful friend sky is just finding her way in the world of D's.
11. The Collar - a wonderful journey with a happy ending and even though she doesn't write often she will always be in my heart.
12. Submission & Metaphor - excellent writer and has really given me some things to think about regarding a different type of relationship.
13. A Hidden Slave - a wonderful woman with a big heart trying to navigate her way through the ups and downs.
14. Florida Dom's Corner - found him because he's in the same state but stayed with him because he always has something to say. His Lisa stories were worth reading twice.
15. Beautiful Submission - as I was reading back through her postings, I came across How to Survive a Breakup in a BDSM relationship. Excellent posting and one that meant a lot to me at the time but I never really told her - Thank you.

Thank you to all of these blogs and the ones I didn't get to mention - you have all added such value to my life.

PS I was searching for a picture to put with the blog when I came across Betty White and just started cracking up. I know usually I put in a naked picture so scroll down and see her before picture - its all in your attitude!