Extreme Vanilla

Disclaimer: this posting is not about "T" or sex, just the rants of a pre-menstrual woman, so just move along there's nothing to see here.

There are times when being alone are more difficult than others. Like when my son's closet shelving falls down (for the 2nd or 3rd time), obviously my handyman skills are lacking. Like when my daughter (19 & suffers from BPD) has cut off communication with me and all I can do is worry and wait until she resurfaces. Then for good measure I am waiting for a business loan to be released and the landlord to finish the renovations so I can move in, all slightly stressful.

In all fairness I don't feel like this all the time, but I am pre-menstrual and the hormones kick up my anxiety. I don't get bitchy I become emotionally overwhelmed and envious of my friends who have a significant other in their lives to be there for them. In a few days I will be back to normal and in the mean time I will just smile and a say everything is fine.

My girlfriend "J" was telling me the other day about something that had happened to a friend of hers, she was just like me a single parent with no support and she experience just one thing after another that particular day. Then "J" said I am so grateful to have "E" in my life, I don't know what I would do without him, I don't know how you do it. I am not sure if that was a compliment or she felt sorry for me.

I have known them for almost 10 years and they have had their ups and downs but they have always had each other and I think that is great, something that I haven't had for about the same amount of time. They have been part of my support team, helped me with household repairs, car situations, kid stuff, all the things that get to be overwhelming as a single parent. Even my friend "M" has had "S" in her life for 3 years, more downs than up but at least they have had each other.

I forgot (old age or hormones who knows) where I was going with this post, its nothing some dark chocolate and flowers won't fix - now where are my car keys.

No comments:

Post a Comment