Let it go

Aisha, thanks for the kind words. I find if I can write down exactly the way I feel at the time it really helps me get through things easier, a type of therapy lol.

I have been told to let it go, forget about it and we are in this together. He also said that if I don't let it go I will be punished. So here I am letting it go. Forgetting about it. Really I am.

The really wonderful thing about "T" is he doesn't let me get away with anything, in past relationships my feelings would have probably caused this issue to escalate. "T" lets me have my feelings but then tells me everything is OK and I should move past it. I don't know how I got so lucky to find someone so understanding. Looking back I realized I should have just rolled the stupid dice when I was given a choice. I thought the dice thing would be silly and when I wouldn't cooperate he gave me the other challenge, the one I failed. If I had rolled the dice I would have known how many days I would have been denied, now instead I am just waititing at his mercy. Whenever I am given a choice I always seem to choose wrong or maybe as he says I am not supposed to win.

Now I can get back to the task at hand, writing about cumming. Of course I would have to have someone to do that. I have been denied since Saturday and yesterday I have to admit I thought about that little toy I have in the cabinet (just for a moment). But I realized that what I really want is "T" to let me cum, hopefully soon - fingers crossed.

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