New Years Eve

I felt the shift yesterday in "T" when he didn't hold me when we slept and then this morning when I woke up to find him lying in bed with his arms crossed sound asleep, having not touched me all night. I believe that when you sleep your true feelings come out and his patterns definitely changed. Maybe it was the kids, money or the issues he had been having with his ex over the last couple of days but something was different. Mind you I am not complaining simply observing and those weren't the only things but they are what confirmed it for me.

Last night when we were on the phone and he told me because our original plans had to be changed that he would have to wait to tie me to the bed. I joked around and said there was no where to tie me to the bed (no head or foot board) his tone changed and he said is that really the statement you want to stick with? No. I should have none then I was in for it then, I could hear it in his voice - kind of turn on but slightly scary.

The kids were out until at least midnight so we had the house to ourselves, I was told to strip and kneel before where he was sitting. He began to kiss me and then went right for my nipples, squeezing, twisting and sucking them. I was then told to kneel in front of the bed with my head down, a blind fold was placed on me and he began rubbing my ass. He struck me with his hand and then I felt it, the paddle. The one I HATE!! Its a huge thick butcher block with a handle and it hurts like a booger. All I kept thinking was, I thought this was for punishment, had I done something wrong that I didn't know about. He rotated from hand to paddle, again and again. In between he would bite my ass, which leaves some wicked bruises. The ass biting is tolerable but the biting on my shoulders freaking hurt. At one point he was lying on my back asking me if his good little slut was enjoying herself and could I take more (I thought he meant from his hand, but it was both) - yes sir.

"T" went into the other room and when he came back I felt lubricant placed on my ass and then wiped all around and in. I couldn't tell what he was sticking inside of me, I knew we hadn't bought a plug together so I was going to assume it was his fingers. He told me later he felt I was too tight to continue ass play and moved on to other things. One being was him having me lie back on the bed and he sat on my face with his cock in my mouth, fucking my face while his balls covered my nose every time he went down. I thought I was going to suffocate, he also had me lay my hands flat on the bed while he did this. At this point I don't remember the order of how things were coming but they were coming fast and furious. I remember my mouth being on his cock and when I would go down all the way so that his cock was all the way down my throat, he would take my head and bob it up and down. All while I am choking and tears are streaming from my eyes, I have picked up that seems to be one of his favorite things to do. Even when I was allowed to cum, it was cold and not what I was used to.

The whole night I felt like he didn't have any comfort to give me, he could only use me to release some of what he had been keeping inside him for the past two days. When the clock struck twelve we kissed but even then he was more interested in the ball activities in time square then anything else. When we were driving to pick up my son at 1am, he asked me if the biting was too much. I asked what biting (meaning ass or shoulder) and he said if I didn't know that it must not have bothered me. It was then that I asked him how I was doing...was he happy with me as a submissive. I was doubting whether he was happy with me, maybe it was because the whole time we have been together everything was leading up to new years eve and us having sex for the first time and when we didn't make it and plus the whole night shifted to something else with his mood. I don't know.

Anyway he said I am very happy you are perfect, I wasn't exactly convinced by his words but if my ass and nipples are any indication then I guess he was telling the truth.

This morning when he got up he was in a much more playful mood, much different than last night.

1 comment:

  1. There is so many things that cause us to be different -- including -- frankly

    the pressure of making a holiday "special"

    you are both still learning each other --

    you should talk to him.

    Happy New Year