One guy asked me what does....I want someone to who can challenge me mentally & physically. I had forgotten my exact reason for putting that in originally, until now. Now I remember that there are some guys out there who can't carry on a conversation and so they resort to taking the road of talking to quickly about the sexual aspect of this process. I was talking to "D" and he was the one who reminded me. Do you give massages? Do you like massages? Boring. I want someone who can engage me.

The one guy "K" who is really "M", he was a high powered lawyer, said all the right things and I could tell he was a real D just from his responses. He is the kind of guy who I would be attracted to immediately (I am a sucker for a business man) but I don't know if I am ready for that right now, then again maybe its just what I need to get over everything. Someone to take over and make me forget, mmmm.

"R" asked for my phone number but today I just wasn't in the mood to talk, so I told him to call me tomorrow.


I think maybe I have been trying to rush into something meaningful to replace what I had. I am clearly not ready for that (nobody is allowed to say I told you so) so I am thinking that maybe I just need a lover, I don't know why I didn't think of it before. I use that term for someone who I don't want a relationship with but yet I enjoy their company enough to be with them. Yes I think that is the route I am going. I have done that before with several vanilla guys and it works until they get to attached and I have to end it, but it might be just what I need.


  1. FWB baby!!! They serve a purpose. Lol

  2. Sounds like something worth trying. Sometimes the light bulb goes off and it becomes crystal clear what you should do, go for it!

  3. thank you, I am working on as I type this message.