I usually read books about submissiveness but I have to say this book I was reading was my first romantic bdsm book (which are dirt cheap on my Kindle) was pretty good. This passage caught my attention, I found it very poetic."Every time you cum for me, you submit. You surrender to me. Every time I don't cum, I master myself. I master my self control by claiming your surrender. Its not about controlling you. Its about controlling myself to give you maximum pleasure, to gain your maximum submission."
I met "S" for coffee and he turned out to be a nice guy. He began with a very heartfelt apology, saying he doesn't know why he reacted the way he did and that it was very out of character for him. I felt it was genuine, but I also felt like we could be more friends than lovers - just no vibe. A free SB chi latte tea for me, on top of the DD ice coffee I had before (junkie).
I met "J" for lunch at the Mello Mushroom (good choice for a quick meal). Just like I can tell if I like a guy right away, this time I could tell I didn't like him. He talked a lot about his ex's and how crazy they were. Sorry but anybody who says all their past relationships have been with crazy people, well that's just a warning bell to me. All of my relationships may not have worked out but I don't speak ill of them because there is enough crazy to go around for both of us. Again nobody is perfect. He also mentioned that he doesn't feel comfortable tieing somebody up, yet - he's working on it. I am nobodys test dummy. Now if he had been someone who didn't like to gamble and drink a lot I may have given him the benefit of the doubt but there were just to many things that came up. He asked me at the end of lunch if I wanted to see him again. I said no (politely) that I couldn't be involved with the heavy drinking and gambling, just not my thing. I could tell he was crushed and I babbled like an idiot to make him feel better, until we said goodbye.
I also have alunch date Monday with "M", the lawyer. I can already tell that I will definately like him, he's got that powerful man charisma that I am attracted to.
I got another email from a "J", he told me a lot about himself and he asked a lot of questions.
We'll see.....it's all fun and games until somebody loses an eye.