It's not my turn

Om pa Loom pa's are small. They have great personalities, but they are not so good to date.

I took a chance on guy, he came across great great on paper. Captured my attention, he wasn't a D but more of a dominant person. We communicated for a couple of weeks and finally made plans for breakfast today. I wanted to meet for my usual coffee, you know keep it short & sweet just in case (break glass in case of emergency) but he insisted that we do something more civilized and grown up. I picked the place a great local eatery, not a chain but something cute and colorful (my style).

Now if it had been for coffee I would have set up an emergency out as usual but this was early and my in case of emergencies were still sleeping, so I went in without back up. When I arrived he was down by the water and as he came towards me I realized that he was a 6 inches to a foot shorter than I was. OK I know what you are saying - shallow. I can deal with an inch shorter but anything more is just not for me. I like tall men, I will put up with someone the same height, not my first choice but if I really liked them I would deal with it. I wouldn't wear heels and then I would take off my shoe (1) when we kissed so I could be at the same and I would feel like I was being kissed and not the other way around.

So when he got to me, I knew there was no getting out of this date until after breakfast. I couldn't even enjoy myself plus I realized that he looked at me as more of a curiosity. He may have been a dominant person (maybe?) but it was at that moment I realized that a D is different. When I went out with "K" he had this way of observing me that made me know he was a D, a way of taking charge that was different. Now "K" wasn't for me because he was a sadist and I knew that it would only become more intense, but I did have fun experimenting.

It was suggested that I had messed up a good thing before and that now I regreted it. I don't, obviously it wasn't right. Now I haven't found anybody to replace that but that's not what I want because it wasn't right for me. I am still looking for the same thing I have always been looking for...taking away bits and pieces of each encounter, learning and molding myself so that when it does come along I will know.

The date turned out to be excrusiating painful and even more so when he asked if you could see me again. I turned him down as politely as I could, thanked him for breakfast and we went our separate ways. 



I am happy for several of my friends who are finding success in this crazy dating world (vanilla & bdsm). It's their turn and I am happy for them.

I keep moving forward imagining what he will be like because someday it will be my turn. 

6 comments:

  1. submissivebf...it WILL be your turn soon HSxx

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  2. Yes it will my friend... hugs

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  3. and sometimes we find someone
    and we're not quite sure what to do next

    all things in time sweetie

    all things in time

    sfp

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  4. I am with you on the short thing...I LIKE my 5 inch heels and aint giving them up for NO ONE.

    The best thing about your journey...when you find one...you will BOTH know its where you want to be.

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  5. I'm not very tall, only 5ft 8" but I know what you mean, however 6 inches to a foot shorter for Me would be a good thing.
    Yes perhaps shallow, but there has to be some chemistry between two people however well they may turn out on paper.

    Fortunately the girl is shorter than I am , a little. A taller girl would have to spend ALL of her time on her knees, not good when down the pub for example.

    You sound as though there were other doubts too, perhaps you used height as a "get out" because the rest was clearly not right. In My experience a sub can usually smell out a Dom pretty much right away. Perhaps that made him seem even smaller for you.

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  6. A dominant person who's not a dom is not a good idea. Speaking from experience...

    Am not sure I want to kiss anymore frogs. I'm glad you're hanging in there.

    hugs,

    aisha

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