I remember when I was looking (still am) for a LTR partner, I came across this guy who offered to help me while I was looking. He told me that as a submissive there were certain needs that I had and he said he would be happy to help me with them. I remember thinking this guy is just trying to get me into his bed. He told me he had helped out other subs. Needless to say I turned him down, this was in the beginning of my journey and I was like no way.

Now being a woman I reserve the right to change my mind at anytime, this is one of those times. I said that I was doing something I had never done before....I let someone back into my life, someone who I had ended things with. It wasn't an easy decision to open myself up but when we were together he always made me feel taken care of and he really knew how to control me. His words, text messages and touch always excited me. So I decided to give it a try. This is not a LTR guy, he was a lover, a protector (he was pretty pissed off that I was abandoned).

I knew that once I let him back in things would happen quickly, he is not a patient man. We started with emails, texts, phone calls and then finally a meeting. His words were so intoxicating to me I felt fuzzy and extremely submissive, something that I miss since I am not in a relationship. What happened is something I didn't  expect, he cleared my head and made me feel centered. He took control of me, like I needed him too.

There was a little of everything ass-pussy-breast spanking, cock sucking, hair pulling (you know I love that), restraining (really love that) and a lot of being told what to do. We tried it with headphones to drown out sound and I liked that feeling, add that with a blindfold & restraints and oh boy! After having not seen him for a while, it all fell into place pretty smoothly and just like any good high it left me wanting more.  

So this leads me to wonder if I need D/s maintenance to keep myself balanced. If you had asked me that last year I would have said you are crazy, but now that I know how I want to feel, how much I miss having it in my life...I have to say maybe I do.


  1. That is a great thought. I bet that first guy was sincere because maybe He needed that too. Shake off the cob webs physically and mentally.
    I'll be interested to know how it goes if you do decided to have maintenance without the LTR.
    As always, lots of luck on finding what it is you do need :)

  2. Good luck in getting your needs met. You probably need some maintenance to keep yourself balanced even if it is not in the context of LTR. But you have an itch and you probably like to scratch it. Good luck.