First to all of my supporters: DauntlessVitatality, little monkey, Neo Dom Tom, Alice, Histoy, William, Deb, Clive, Aisha, K and the others who passed along their good thoughts. I wouldn't have had the courage to say what I wanted if it weren't for all of your encouragement. I love having this other community family to share with, so thank you.
I was reading A Master's Viewpoint of the BDSM World posting about the 50's style relationship. He writes about how "A true submissive is one of the strongest people that you will meet. She is one who knows exactly what is wanted and is willing to go get it....I can assure you that it takes just as much strength to serve as it does to control."
Even before I began this journey, I always believed that there could only be one person in charge of a relationship and not just in the bedroom. In all of my vanilla relationships this was something that I craved but could never quite find, which one of the reasons I ended up starting to look beyond vanilla. I have always been a supporter of the Surrendered Wife (a similar concept of the 50's style, maybe a little more religious based). This book is about changing who I was, not trying to change the man. I recommended it to friends and it even helped save a marriage in trouble.
What I discovered in vanilla was that there weren't too many men willing to step up and take control even after it was offered. Similar to the men who didn't understand that I wanted to be controlled in the bedroom. I remember sharing with a man I was seeing what I liked, he freaked out and dumped me, telling me that I wasn't the kind of women he could see himself in a relationship with. That same guy tried to get me back 2 months later, I guess all of a sudden it was ok.
My friends and I talk about how high the divorce rate is right now and what is the answer, is marriage obsolete, are women to strong, are men too weak...all questions that make you wonder if a 50's style shouldn't be something more should take a second look at.
There is no point to this post, other than to say it was nice that someone recognized that wanting a 50's style relationship and being submissive does not make you a weak person.