My first

I can remember my firsts. The first boyfriend I had as a child, Paul. He hit me over the head with a hammer when we were about 4 yrs old. My first crush was my middle school teacher Mr. H, told us he was a cousin to a member of a famous band at the time. My first love at first sight was at a neighbors christening, right in the church I had attended since I was a child. We couldn't stop starring at each other and ended up kissing later at the party. My  first sexual experience was with what I would call a douche today but in high school he was the bomb. He took my virginity at my friends house, then moved on to his next conquest. The whole thing hurt and made me wonder what all the fuss was about. I am glad things changed otherwise I might have become a nun.

My first D was a man I met not to long after I had begun this journey. I wrote about it last year, he had answered my ad, he wrote a couple of emails to entice me and then made me call him right away . As soon as we spoke on the phone I knew he was different, but I also knew something was amiss and I was right. Married, I found out after we met, but by that time it was too late. I was so attracted to him, his dominance was so evident and intoxicating. I felt like I was drunk when I was with him or even spoke to him and that was all before he even touched me.

The first time I broke it off with him was because of a misunderstanding. After that I met someone else and didn't speak with him for several months. After my relationship dissolved he turned back up, trying to contact me but I couldn't even bring myself to talk to him. I knew that if I even took one of his phone calls there would be no turning back. He sent me a long heartfelt letter that came at a time when I was very vulnerable and that led to me taking his calls. We started seeing each other again and he helped me when I needed someone. I then let him go again when I thought I had met someone who I needed to find out if was the one for me. We all know how that ended.

As soon as he found out that things had gone south he contacted me to find out if I was alright. I assured him I was and I tried to ignore his advances. The one thing about him is he is very persistent but I knew that if I talked to him he would be back in my life again. Well Friday I took his call, in my mind I was going to be strong and keep things at a distance. Here's the problem with that, he knows me to well. He reads my tone on the phone, knows when I'm smiling, knows that he has a way of getting inside my head. I tried to fight against it but of course I had already opened the door and he barged right in with his D ways. Telling me that he will be calling me this week and I will take the call. That he wants to see me even if its just for coffee.

He tells me that he misses having me in his life, that when I left he had been taken by surprise and that he needs me just as much as I need him. I have never had an delusions of him ever ending his marriage, it was never even something that I wanted. By the same token he has always known that I wanted more and when I found it, we would be over. In fact he encouraged me to look and even made sure I got home from my dates safe and sound or made me leave if I knew it wasn't the one for me. To some this may seem like a very bizarre relationship.

So we met today but something was different for me. There are a couple of reasons floating around in my head. I was stronger when I left him and I had a taste of what I actually wanted. I think the combination of those two things made my feelings different this time or it could have been the advice I received from my friend. Encouraging me not to go back to the band aid, that I needed to keep looking for what I wanted/needed. That it was out there, she found it and so would I. Maybe it was everything together.
He came to my shop and we went into the private room, away from my co-workers. We kissed, his hand grabbing a handful of my hair after placing my hand on his cock. He asked me if I this is what I fantasized about, I never answered and then he asked if this is what I wanted. I said yes and he undressed and layed down on the table. I remained fully clothed and leaning over him I took his cock in my mouth. Enjoying him again, sucking and licking until he came in my mouth. We talked for a little while and then I walked him out to his car after I returned his toys to him. He told me that the ball was in my court and I could decide what happens next. We kissed good-bye and he left.
After I walked back inside I knew that would be the last time we would be together. I was glad I decided to see him again because things did end abruptly before and I didn't want that to be the ending to our story. He holds a very special place in my heart because he was my first D my first Sir, the first man to Master me.


  1. sbf- Great posting- We all have firsts of many kinds so I enjoyed reading yours and reminicing about my own. With regard to your First D- it is wonderful that you are able to walk away in such a positive note.. but if you are not... and we have all been there.... that is okay too. Enjoy each day and don't worry about tomorrow.

    ~Faithful Reader

  2. A beautiful story--sad parts, perhaps, but beautiful still.

    Some people can worm their way into your heart and never will leave. I guess that's ok providing we can keep control of the contact or issues caused by the relationship.

    Ultimately, you have to do what's right for you, and it sounds like you did. Kudos!


  3. Firsts are always special, I am happy to read that your first was good for You. A good reference oint to help you in your search.

  4. Faithful Reader (curiosity peaked) thanks for your comments. Its nice to know others have been in my situation.

    Dannah, we will always have a connection just not physical contact.

    Abby, I don't think I will ever find someone like him, he was an original.

    Hugs and smiles!