Life got in the way of tonight, so we are seeing each other tomorrow. I had a feeling that 3am conference call to overseas would screw things up. I was up at 3am also to answer a call from my son letting me know they had arrived in Quincy, MA. He has been gone over a month and even though I am enjoying my freedom, I miss him. He will be seeing my mother and her husband tonight, so he will be happy to have some familiar faces around. Then this weekend my daughter leaves for Italy and I will have the house to myself for 11 whole days. No one to clean up after, even though this is the time I have planned to gut the house and get it back in order.

"P" is leaving on Monday also, so I will really be on my own. I have really come look forward to talking and spending time with him. I will definitely miss him when he leaves. I will miss his smile, his laugh, the way his strong hands grab me, his kisses, his gentle touch, his sexy pony-tail & his sexy accent that could melt butter. The way he cares about his family and friends and the way he makes me feel. The way he calls me beautiful girl and good girl, making me feel special and cared for. The way he leaves bruises for me to remember him by. The way I get wet and feel flushed at the thought of calling him Sir. The way he can keep me aroused all day and night, the way he controls my orgasms. The way I know there is so much more to explore. I could keep going, but you get the idea.

Which leaves me with the question I haven't been asking...where do I go from here? Does he view this as a fling or is he looking beyond the moment or is our timing just off? I have been afraid to think about it, afraid to think beyond just today, afraid I would get hurt. I opened myself up but I never thought beyond the next day and now the days are running out.

The thought of going back to looking again leaves me with that sick feeling in my stomach but I have done it before. As a matter of fact at work today I received a picture of a naked man with the the caption "I want you", now who wouldn't want that (eyes rolling). 

Well at least until Monday I don't have to think about it, I can just enjoy the moments we have left - no regrets.


  1. Yes, enjoy the moment and don't worry about the future. That is always a good philosophy.


  2. I second that.

  3. Dear butterfly,

    As you have heard, distance makes the heart grow fonder, thereby letting the memories created by B/both of Y/you have a chance to sink in, a chance to reflect, not only for you, but for Him.

    It is easy to say live in the moment, but a submissive tends to let her heart Dominate her, if you will (pun intended). The funny thing is, in most cases, the partner is feeling the same things you are and is trying to live in the moment too, so they do not scare you off...isn't that a hoot?!

    Basically, your thinking about the future is a mechanism to determine whether one is wasting time or not...i say, creating memories now is never a waste of time. O/one never knows how much time W/we have left on this Earth, and you, my dear butterfly are doing a heck of a job of really living - no regrets, eh?!

    The time away is an opprotunity that will allow growth, so cherish it!


    --kitten for Sir