Breaking down the walls

It's been a busy week, so much so that I haven't posted in a while. As Aisha says, I am always talking to someone on CM. Sometimes it's raining D's and sometimes it feels like there are none left. The thing about talking with each new one is you share a very intimate part of yourself each time and the longer you talk the more you share. Trying to figure out if he is the one that fits with you. Conversations go back and forth, questions are asked and answered. This goes on for days or weeks and usually if you are conversing longer than a few days, you start to become invested. You get that "wow" this could be a potential partner feeling. Then it happens for a reason unknown to you he drops off the face of the earth. Sometimes you hear from them again, sometimes not. You are left wondering what happened. Did you do something wrong, did he lose interest, is he dead...mostly you just wonder why didn't he just speak up and say goodbye. I think there are too many men on CM that enjoy the online safety net.

The reason I bring this up is because the guy I was talking to did just that, he disappeared. But first he cyber stalked me from the information I gave him. He was a computer guru and our last communication he had figured out my phone number. I was a little surprised but not really, I would even go so far as to say he figured out that I had a blog and read it, but that is just a guess. Anyway he's gone but only to be replaced by several others.

So as I was answering my CM emails today and I a profile came up on my home page. I wasn't really interested in the guy but something in his journal caught my eye.

"Sometimes you put walls up not to keep people out
but to see who cares enough to break them down"

(hand raising) OOH, OOH, OOH, that's me!! over here, pick me!!

When I read this I identified with the statement, that's what I want. I want that man who will care enough to break down the walls that I throw up. I want that man who wants to get to know about me and more than just my breast size and do I like anal. This man is serious about getting to know the vanilla and sub side of me, he doesn't just want one part of me, he wants it all.

Late breaking news:
I just had the best conversation with a new guy from CM (yes another one), but he had the best sense of humor I have come across in a long time and....wait for it - he's a cop. A man in uniform with his own handcuffs, very sexy and definately something I can take to bed with me tonight, giggle.


  1. Wow that journal quote rings true with me too , to an extent. But not entirely. There are definite things I like having in place for a reason, because I've been hurt before....but some of them could be broken down by the right man.

    Hope the copper works out! *giggle*

  2. oh sbf how lucky that would be for you if it worked out!!!1

    too many players on CM dont know how you put up with them

    blossom x

  3. What's not to love about a man in uniform? LOL

    Keeping my fingers crossed that you get to wear those handcuffs! LOL

  4. You know, enjoy the ride... but uniforms and handcuffs are a bonus!!



  5. CM is truly shark infested waters...tried it for a bit...had to run to the shore screaming!!!!

    wishing you lots of luck though SBF...

  6. Love that quote.

    Sometimes you want someone to prove that you really matter to them. That you're worth it. If they're not, well at least you have them up so you're hurt less!