Wackadoodle Week

I was beaten down with crazy this week and it wasn't the good kind of beating. It seems like all the freaks are out and want to talk to me. To begin with "R" didn't work out, he was the one who I wrote about previously. He decided to share with me, before we met that he didn't think he was strong enough for me. I applauded him for his honesty and suggested he look for someone more his speed, I was met with anger. If you are going to tell me you can't handle the control I am about to hand over to you, what do you expect from me? Anyway I have moved on from him to wade through the enormous amount of emails I received this week. Unfortunately they were all fruit cakes, leaving me to wonder if there was a full moon.

My favorite of the week was the guy who opened with, do you have yahoo? Yes (just out of curiosity) - Give me the name you sign in under and go there NOW. OK maybe I shouldn't have but I couldn't help myself, my reply was LOL.

There were way to many young guys, I'm talking in there late 20's to early 30's, all I see is immaturity. They don't understand about having kids and responsibility because they are still children themselves. There is also the ick factor, I'd rather have an older mature man over some young pup. I think I might have a daddy issue, lol.

The most curious was one from a guy who claimed to be local but his profile said Maine, he must have been confused and never replied with a picture or why he said that.

The most conflicting was one from a guy who wanted a male dominated relationship with no pain and nothing to over the top. He went on to tell me he was really had a pussy cat personality. I think he answered the wrong ad.

The most lack of attention to detail was one who wrote to me from CM, asked why I had a fake picture on my profile. Well if he had bothered to read it and click on the pictures he would have seen me.

I had two other goofballs, one who referred to me as a mature woman. He was 55 and I'm 44. He was looking for someone to play with on-line and then eventually meet up (all without his wife finding out). The second referred to me as thick, now I am not a small delicate creature by any stretch of the imagination but really what woman wants to be referred to as thick.

This old fat chick found both references rather insulting but what was more disappointing was the question of whatever happened to manners and being a gentleman. You catch more flies with honey than vinegar. I ended up blocking the first guy because he just kept messaging me with weird stuff through out the day.

There were a handful of other wackadoodles - all from CM during the daytime. Unemployment must be rampant on CM. Isn't there just one decent lip biting, ass grabbing, dirty talking, hair pulling, up against the wall, neck kissing, love biting Dominant man out there?
Then to top it off my first D, who I ended it with a while ago and has been texting me on and off. At first he said he wanted to be friends, but I knew he couldn't. He just wanted to be able to have me when ever he wanted. I had explained to him that I don't want to sleep with him anymore but it wasn't getting through to him. So finally the other day he wrote to me and said he was finally letting go and wished me well. Only to then start back up again with questions about why we can't be together anymore. How he didn't realize that he had the option to collar me when we were together. He asked me why I didn't tell him I wanted to be collared, I said that would be like buying the ring and proposing myself. Sort of throws off the whole Dom in charge philosophy I have in my mind. 

I made a huge mistake by picking up the phone when he called and it just started his persistence all over again. He says he wants to be in my life again and that would do anything I wanted, help me with my everyday decisions and take care of me. My feeling is he had that chance and never did anything until it was over. He says that he still has an effect on me both physically and mentally, he's right but I want more.  I know he can't give me what I need so its best not to start up again. Now he's pushed me to the point of having to stop communicating with him and I realize we can't even be friends. Which is a shame because I felt a very special connection to him and always will.

So were two weeks into August and nothing yet, but its ok because my kid comes home tomorrow after being away for the entire summer and then school starts again. My time won't be my own for a while. So I am enjoying reading all the other blogs that are having sex :) so keep on writing.


  1. Lol..yikes. its draining, but you got the right attitude. Apparently we have to be strong and assertive a lot, to fight for the one man to whom we can truly submit.

    Can't believe your kiddo is coming back...end of summer soon. Wow..

    Rooting for ya

  2. Have i told you lately that i love you? *smiles* kitten so loves reading your blog, pretty butterfly!

    The thing i like most about you, is the fact that you always maintain hope. Hope and courage actually, and those traits are so important!

    That, and the confidence you possess is bound to attract the right Dom. Yes, it will take an extraordinary Man to Dominate you, but when that connection is made, HOLY SHIT: watch out world!

    kitten is also vry proud of the way you take care of all the aspects of your life, balancing them with delicate measure - you ROCK!!!

    If you hadn't noticed by now, kitten is a huge fan of yours and looks forward to your stories, so please keep blogging, baby!

    (Thick...hahahahaha!!!!) That is just wrong!


  3. SBF - You are a strong woman, and the right, strong, Dominant Man will come along. We kiss a of toads to find our Prince!

    Keep your head held high. You have the right attitude!

    I enjoy reading your blog :) And I look forward to your stories, too.

    Take care, Sky

  4. Wow quite the crazy week for sure.

    I am still getting crazy msgs on CM as well. And Fetlife. I finally had to add a note on my fetlife profile claiming I was NOT interested in being photographed by random people. Seriously people?