Collars & Other

I loved the “The Collar of Consideration" from, that was given to Aisha. I felt it was such an honorable gesture for him to offer her, showing that he was serious about D's and not some flake. Also on the site are some other great reads like "What it means to be a Dominant" & "Are you a good Dominant", maybe I can use them to put together a questionnaire for perspectives. The one thing they didn't have on there was a How To go from online to real life, that would be very useful for some I have spoken with recently. Speaking of that cop, remember the who could text & yahoo, but not make an actual phone call, he messaged me today. I was talking to a friend and up he pops "hey baby girl, how are you doing?". Which part of don't message me anymore was it hard for him to understand? Well I guess if you can't operate a telephone then there must be limited mental capabilities at work.

But getting back to the collars, I am confused. There are Collars of Consideration, Training Collars & Formal Collars. What is the difference (as described) between the Consideration & the Training Collar?

I read through some of the site and found it to be another useful source for information.  All of these passages below spoke to me for one reason or another.

"A collared relationship is a serious commitment.  The Dominant is just as tied to the relationship as the submissive if it is to be a healthy relationship.   He should take the responsibility seriously.   A submissive is responsible to that Dominant at all times, not just when it pleases her to be.   She should consider carefully before agreeing to wear His collar.   Her honor is at stake".

"...very few men realize the importance that submission holds for her.   It is far more than a physical experience, it is an emotional connection with you so meaningful that it contains her very soul.   Though d/s is often very light and spontaneous and sometimes treated as a special sensual playtime, for her it is what is most real in her life.   It is NOT a game.   To treat it as such is to do her a great injustice for it trivializes her greatest expression of love".

"A woman wants a man to be strong and to protect and watch over her.   She wants to be able to relax in the safety of his arms and the world that he creates for her.   If you can do that for a woman, you will see something inside her blossom and grow, and you will marvel at the treasure you have discovered that was always inside her but which she never felt safe to reveal, so afraid was she that it would not be appreciated for the incredible gift which it is".

"In order for her to be submissive, YOU must be in charge of her in a very real and definite way.   Remember that this manual is written for the sub who wants her submission to be a daily part of her life and the more she feels she is under your control and care, the happier a slave girl she will be.   It is very confusing for her if your control is just within the context of a scene and does not carry over into the rest of your relationship.   It will help if you think of your control as being an integral part of your relationship rather than an "imposition" on her.   The more you see her enthusiasm and gratitude in response to your actions, the easier it will become for you".

"It is very thrilling for your sub to know she is subject to your discipline.  She wants rules and limits set for her and knows that there will be consequences for not obeying them.   If there are no consequence then she cannot feel the control that she longs for.   Accepting a spanking where the focus is on correcting her behavior rather than for her own pleasure is proof of her submission to you.   It makes your control of her very real".

"One very *hot* erotic trigger for many subs is having their hair pulled.   Not in a hurtful way, but as a very sensual experience.   For many women, this can be an extremely powerful turn on and you may be surprised by her reaction.   Call her over to you and caress her hair for a moment before gathering it up in your hands before firmly pulling her face toward you for a passionate kiss -- she will melt in a puddle on the floor!"

That last one was the trigger for me very early on, before I even realized what D/s was about. Still gets me today!


  1. WoW~ Very powerful Blog! Should be required reading for certain Doms :) Hugs my friend!

  2. Nice post!!!

    Yeah, I agree with all the parts you posted. And all I can tell you is don't settle.

    Don't settle.



  3. I spent a lot of time on that blog too this afternoon. Some very good insightful articles. The things you mentioned all resonated with me too.

    I agree with Aisha. Do. Not. Settle.

    You deserve a caring respectful Dom. He's out there!

    Take care.


  4. A great post SBF, the questions Are You A Good Dominant come from the book The Loving Dominant by John Warren and Libby Warren and they do give him credit on the blog. A fantastic book that Dom's and sub's alike should read.

    Another good site, it is old and hasn't been updated in a while but the articles and writing still are good is


  5. Thanks Aisha :) we are all happy for you!

    Sky :)

    Southern Sir thanks I will check it out.

  6. Oh god I can relate to the hair pulling. Submissive headspace hits me so fast when he does that.

  7. Terrific post SBF, very enjoyable. Hair pulling, ummmmmmmmmmmmmm, I'll detract to My kitten to describe the effect on her for that one. LOL.
    Collars are an interesting dynamic, I am not one to collar lightly. I took My time with kitten even before introducing and having made for her a custom training collar for in My minds eye, it's an earned honour for both a Dom/Domme to have His/Her sub wear it as it is to a sub to wear it for her/his Dom/Domme. Color Me old fashioned but time to earn respect, cherishment etc is never wasted before a collaring. As you know, kitten is now permanently collard with O/our eternity collar (and I do refer to it as O/ours) and still retains My training collar for "those moments" when I need the extra submission or rings LOL. The eternity collar is always on in both vanilla and Non Vanilla, whereas the training collar is used for just that, training. I may have by way of circumstance had kitten in a consideration collar (the ball-gag one) however for Me, I knew she was the one so a consideration never really had to take place. I believe it's a very good ideal when D/s meet and are taking the next step with trust. I must apologize for the rather lengthy tirade and trust this post finds you doing well.
    Cheers Sir W