A little cheese with that whine, should have been the title of my last posting. I was absolutely disgusted with myself and thought about deleting part of it, but no this is about the good and the really whiny bad side of myself. Live and learn, then forgive yourself and move on.

At work today my vanilla co-worker was complaining that a women he had been texting with, only answered when he text her. He asked whats that all about? Well since he asked, I told him my opinion. I said coming from my point of view, when I first am communicating with someone...I wait for the man to take the lead. Lets face it a man wants what he doesn't have and if he is interested he will go after whatever it is - a woman, a job, a new client, a toy, etc.

For me that is what I want from a D, a man, someone who takes charge. A man is the hunter and I as a woman want to be hunted, desired. Now I know from previous comments that a D likes it when a woman fawns all over him and that is fine after he takes the reins of the relationship/courtship. Shows that he is truly interested and wants to be with that woman, capture her mind and the rest will follow. My co-worker appreciated my point of view (less any mention of D/s) and had a better understanding of where she could be coming from.

I was reading a D's profile on CM and in his journal he wrote: I may be old school but isn't it up to the submissive to keep in touch with the D? I really had to restrain myself from answering that question, even though he visits my profile often.

I like being a woman, I like being courted, I like being pursued, I like being wanted & adored - in return I will do anything for that D that has shown I am worth it. Currently I am enjoying the company of several D's and a vanilla - having fun and enjoying the ride. Let's see who takes charge and keeps my interest (working on my patience) because as I told my friend - I am like a small child who gets bored easily and distracted by shiny things, lol!

"Respect the woman, desire the slut and cherish the little girl.
Then you have the mind, the body and the soul"


  1. O Yes! The men are the hunters and gatherers! A strong Dominant man who takes charge and is respectful, caring and feeds our mind - will own our body.

    Hoping there is The One among the "many" online. It's the weeding out that can be soooo draining lol

    Take care. Sky.

  2. Good luck on your search. And you gave that guy good advice.


  3. I think this can be a catch 22. Yes you want to be pursued and you want him to take the lead and be in charge. Yet in the beginning this can be difficult. As you have written many times, the Dom can also be overbearing and pushing when you have no interest in pursuing with him. As a general rule, yes he should take charge and take the lead. But he also doesn't want to push too hard when he isn't even sure if you are interested. The lack of initiation by her, as mentioned in the second paragraph, can be seen by him as her not being interested. Once some sort of relationship has begun to be established, then by all means he should take the lead. Just some thoughts from the Dom side of the fence.


  4. @DV - Yes, I think you're right. It's a delicate balance. My rule of thumb has been symmetry - so if He initiates a text exchange, I may initiate one later ~ but just one. If he doesn't initiate the next, I probably won't, at least to the point that we're so comfortable that it doesn't matter. But I think I've got to signal back that I'm interested...

    @Sbf, I feel you, and anything like whining is totally understandable. Keeping my fingers totally crossed for you...



  5. This post has come at a very relevant point in a new relationship for me and it has confirmed some uneasy feelings I have been having. You are so right. If he isn't interested in me enough to contact me then he just isn't interested.