Thoughts

"You are worthy of the best life has to offer including someone to love you. No one has the right to make you think less of yourself"
Recently two of my friends, who had met and moved in with special someone, found themselves questioning their relationships. I am sorry to say that it looks like both of them will ultimately be ending their relationships and asking the man to move out.

My friend discovered the man she had asked to move in with her and her children was a liar. He lied about when and how long he had been divorced, his job and other small things. Unfortunately once you tell a lie you have to tell more to keep from getting caught. The web of lies grows larger and with each one it becomes more unstable until it breaks apart from stress. For me it took almost a year and half until his web broke apart. This was 5 years ago in a vanilla relationship, he was a liar and I didn't see it until it was too late. Why do men & yes woman feel the need to lie when they go into a relationship? Why can't they go in and be open and honest?

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Resentment is something that builds up over time slowly. Something that gnaws at you until one day it just explodes and somebodies feelings get hurt. Now you could just blame it on the person whom you have built up the resentment against but you are just as much to blame. You let it fester inside your mind until it had become this larger than life thing that just took over any sane thoughts you may have wanted to express. If only you had said something in the beginning, maybe it would have eased your mind. There were probably many times when you could have expressed your thoughts but hoped that the other person would read your mind and figure it out.

Since that never happens, the resentment continues to build until one day when you least expect it BAMM!! The other person gets hit with a full on pile of things that spew from your mouth uncontrollably. Now I'm not saying that the other person doesn't play a part in the blame but it probably could have been avoided if you had just said something. Now sometimes you can save the relationship but sometimes you know that its just better to let it go and be done with things. Sometimes the resentment that built up and fall out the came afterwards was just too much for one or both of you to go back.

So you lose a friend or lover, hopefully you learn a valuable life lesson. Hopefully the next time you will speak up and let someone know what you are thinking instead of pushing it down, hoping it won't come back.

4 comments:

  1. Interesting thoughts! It occurs to me - there's a quote that goes:

    "People lie when they don't think they can get what they want by telling the truth."

    I always thought that made a lot of sense.

    And you know i totally agree about not letting your feelings build up until you're ready to explode!

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts...

    aisha

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  2. Great thought provoking post, SBF.

    I'm sorry for the breakup of your friends relationships. :(

    Finding the courage to speak up when things aren't going well can be difficult at times. I know I have trouble expressing my feelings and sometimes let things build up until things "explode!". Not good :( I am working on it!

    Take care. Sky

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  3. I have been guilty of that "build up" in my vanilla relationships, they really don't do anyone any good at all...the older that I have gotten the more I have learned to express my feelings...Thank you for sharing...

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  4. I am definitely one to push things inside and not deal with them. I could analyze all the reasons why for days, months, eons... Sir is helping me get past that and talk about my emotions and how I'm feeling. I'm so thankful for that.

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