Guilty Lurker

Bless me blogger it's been 3 weeks since my last confession posting.
I have been fed up with my molasses computer
I have been busy with work, family and friends
I have been volunteering
I have been enjoying my child's last year in high school
I have been uninterested in the whole dating process
I have been guilty of not answering my comments
I have been guilty of lurking

Yes, I have been doing a lot of lurking these last few weeks. People have been sending me messages to make sure I am still around, thank you for your concern. Everything is fine here. But I am pretty sure that D's are out of season right now and all that's left are the weird fruits that nobody to try. Like buddha's hand, horned melon, monstera deliciosa - and I've met every single one of them. Take it from me - NOBODY wants to touch them. 

Last week was my one year anniversary - 1 year of blogging/1 year of discovering what I want. I've learned so much about myself and what I want in my life. I've also learned what I don't want and what not to do.

I've discovered that there are so many unsatisfied men that are married and looking for more. I used to think they were just cheating to cheat but I realize that for some its so much more. I got out of my marriage but for some its not an option (for whatever reason) because of kids, finances, circumstances, etc.

I have found that there are a lot of men who are happy just having an online relationship. I tried it and it wasn't for me, I need physical contact.

I have found that some men are very proud to show off their equipment, on profiles or emails. They put it all out there and some of them shouldn't. Some of them need to put their clothes back on and present themselves in a better light. Remember everything looks better in candle light.

I have also noticed that not very men can pull off leather pants, chaps, leather thong or whatever. Some look like they are part of the Village People. Also for those of you on CM, there are some very undomly looking pics on profiles. If they didn't have Dominant written under their pics I would say they were switches or subs.

I have also noticed that men love to take pictures of themselves in their bathrooms. Now that's OK but clean it up first. Nobody wants to see your dirty clothes strewn around the floor or the toilet bowl open behind you. You are trying to get a woman not scare them away.

Some men send their worst picture, tell you its their worst and say but I don't look anything like it. Huh?? If you were selling a car wouldn't you wash and wax it first? Make it look the best it can so you can attract a buyer? Think of dating as just like selling a car - take a bath, put on some clothes for gods sake and have SOMEBODY else take your picture. Also (while I'm on my tirade about pictures) people change, so that picture you posted 5 years ago - it doesn't look like you anymore...put up a NEW one. When we meet you, we want to know what you look like today, not not 1 -10 yrs ago. Update your picture!

OH and another thing...nobody is stealing your picture and using it for research. So that lame excuse about not being able to send a picture because somebody stole it, doesn't fly. If your computer doesn't have one, then use your phone to take one, or use your friends to take one. Ask your neighbors kid to take your picture and upload it to your computer moron! (ok picture tirade over).

I have noticed that some men want to sleep with you but god forbid you try to have a discussion with them or get them to write a descent email. I once can't keep her chained to the bed forever, eventually you have to go to the grocery get to know each other. I am seduced by someone between my ears before my legs (unless they are really good, then both).

I have learned that good writing does not translate over into good chemistry. Meeting the person on the other end of the emails, phone, etc is so critical....that would have to be the most important lesson I have learned in my year of adventure.

I have discovered that I am more accepting of different relationships than what is considered the "norm". I am more open to trying new things (with someone I trust).

I have made a lot of new friends here in blog land that have translated into my everyday, for that I am grateful. I am very glad I decided to take this journey last year and even though things are slow have stalled, I feel that I am stronger, more experienced and wiser than I was a year ago. I am looking forward to the next year and whatever it may bring.

As for my lurking, I will still do it because I enjoy reading the other blogs - there are some phenomenal writers out there. Sometimes I comment but most times I won't, unless I am extremely passionate about something. Some I will read and it will inspire my thoughts. Some I feel intimidated to leave comments on, some already have enough comments on and I think do they really need me to repeat what was already written and sometimes all I have is my Iphone and the keys are just too small. So keep writing, leaving comments and I will try to answer more and I will defiantely keep lurking on other blogs.

Happy Lurkers Day!!


  1. I think you need to paste your thoughts about dating on Craigslist. It will make the "best if CL" for sure. :)

    Thanks for the laughs!

    I like your blog. And I like your lesson about meeting someone FIRST and then submitting. Very good advice.

    Please keep blogging. Your humor and perspective on things keeps me (abd no doubt others) coming back for more.

    Congratulations on your one year blogging anniversary and Happy LOL Day.

    Take care. Sky

  2. Congrats on your first anniversary of blogging, Happy LOL Day and thanks for all your insights on the dating scene. You make many clever observations.


  3. Always a pleasure to read your blogs...i was starting to have withdrawals *wink* Your open and comedic point of views and candidness is refreshing and insightful, not to mention sometimes HOT HOT HOT!

    Happy 1-year Anny, butterfly!



  4. 1 yr hey? Happy LOL..i am one of your regulars with little comment leaving, but i enjoy reading.


  5. Happy First Anniversary!!

    And I agree with Sky about your comments on dating only I think it might need to be a book or something. You are too funny - and too on target.

    I'm glad you posted this, I was getting worried too!



  6. Happy 1 year blogeversary.

    While I don't always comment I do enjoy reading your blog, your insight and humor makes for a great read.


  7. Happy Anniversay, I think we share the same week. I loved this post I laughed out loud and giggled and chuckled until tears were rolling down my face...maybe hysteria...who was great.

  8. Happy Anniversary from a long time anonymous interested lurker.

  9. I just got pointed to your blog from a friend on CM who frequents my journal there.
    I enjoyed the read.

    Happy Anniversary!


  10. Happy 1 year!


    P.S. I still lurk a lot, too!

  11. LMAO- what a great post and your perspective so spot on!

    I am glad you posted again and I like the others enjoy your humor and your writings and hope you continue for many more years!

    With regard to "dating" .. sometimes not looking will bring you what you need.

    I met Master on a Plane... I was very sick and almost didn't go on my trip, but I thank god every minute that I went. The LAST thing I was looking for that day was him.

    Sometimes when you least expect really does happen.


  12. WooHoo, one year and still going strong. Congratulations sbf. Keep it going strong !!!
    Cheers Sir W