We all know that the world of BDSM is small because it stays in the closet (so to speak). Even though I have readers from all over the world, the chances of my stepping outside my door and meeting another kinkster are slim to none. It stays small because most people don't openly go around talking about this lifestyle, which is a shame because if more people were just open and honest life, would be different.

There is something called Six Degrees of Serparation that refers to the idea that everyone is on average approximately six steps away, by way of introduction, from any other person on Earth, so that a chain of, "a friend of a friend" statements can be made, on average, to connect any two people in six steps or fewer. 

I have made a lot of friends through my blog, some I know personally, some I know from their blogs, some just lurk around anonymously, some find me through Fet Life and some find me through word of mouth. So when a friend of mine told me he was looking for a sub, I thought this would be a good place to mention it. Because you never know who is out there looking and curious.

You might ask why am I not interested? Well he's a friend and it would be weird, plus there is no attraction because I don't see him in that way. What I do see is a terrific Dom looking for someone, just like I am and don't we all need a helping hand (even Dom's). So I am going to play Matchmaker, D's style.

I watch the Millionaire Matchmaker and her rules are no sex without monagamy, no in, in or in (as she's pointing).  Well it's the same with a D's relationship, no submitting until he takes the time to get to know you. A Dom who doesn't take the time to get to know you isn't really going to be able to take the control you are offering unless he knows what makes you tick. Of course some most all Dom's work pretty fast, so keep in mind there is no time table.

So if you are a submissive woman looking for a Dominant for an online relationship to start then this could be the man for you.

A strong and compassionate dominant male who knows his strengths, weakness's, limitations and is confident in who he is, his abilities and what he desires. He knows the difference between being Dominant and being cruel. He understands the need for punishment and when its appropriate and proportionate and its role. He seeks one who desires to wear his collar and desires to make a commitment to build a bond.

He seeks a strong and caring submissive female who finds pleasure in sharing life. One who seeks to reach for better each day. Someone who is ready to give herself completely. Someone whom he can give himself to completely. Someone who is fiercely loyal and long's to be submissive. One who seeks and desires to be in a D/s partnership. Remembering D/s is not a one way relationship both serve each other and compliment each other in their roles.

Submission is about making a choice. Because you do have choices. You choose to hand over control, you choose to be owned, you choose to submit. You decide to give another person control and the ability to make decisions on our behalf. Submission is not about being a mindless doormat with no mental capability of one's own. It is taking a leap of faith and letting go enough to be Dominated by another human being. It is having a strong enough sense of self that you can allow that self to fall under the control of somebody else's domain. It is about being under the control of someone besides yourself.

It requires trust and acceptance. Trust that you will not be irrevocably damaged, that you will give and also receive, that your Dominant will keep your best interests in mind. Acceptance of the Dominant factor's rule as law, the choices that will be made for both, the things that will be done to both, of the inevitable changes that occur when both take a leap of faith and know they will be caught before hitting bottom.

If you are a submissive woman interested or even curious please contact me through email or post a comment (that will be kept confidential and NOT published). If you know someone who might be interested in exploring their submissivness then please remember the Six Degrees of Separation and tell a friend of a friend. Life is short, help someone find happiness and it will return to you in spades.

Coming Soon
As part of my Matchmaking services I will be adding a couple of associates for future services:
Private Investigator - submissive woman who can find out anything about anyone with little or almost no information. She's a pitbull that doesn't let go until she get's her man.
Rent a Dom (RAD) - Don't have a current Dom - rent one. Basic to Advanced Services available (for those of you (like me) who feel the need to justify.


  1. you found your calling butterfly!!


  2. Lmao rent a Dom !

    I used to threaten my son to be rent a kid!

    Mmmmm someone to flog in daddy's absence. So many ideas.

  3. What goes around, comes around. The Dom may not be the one for you butterfly, but you get back what you give out. I trust in the Universe that somewhere, someone is looking out for a Dom for YOU!

    Mmm Rent-a-Dom. I imagine there will be a few subs with some questions he might help answer :)

    A PI? Now, that's a skill that might come in handy! Get her to investigate your nasty commenter!

    Great post, butterfly. I hope you're able to help your Dom friend.

    Take care. Sky

  4. Why not? Even if it doesn't work for your Dom friend, it was a kind idea.


  5. I love the rent-a-dom idea - and think the playing matchmaker is a pretty good idea too! I hope your friend finds someone.

    {And I believe "Yours" is out there too...}


  6. Thanks kitty & faithful :)

    Mindset I read your blog, you have enough going on all by yourself, lol

    Thank you Sky, yes that RAD has some interesting possiblities

    Thanks aisha until then I am living through you :)

  7. Tell me he is not married and lives in Australia and I will die a happy woman!!

    Oh...and I am curious as well :)