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Have you discovered Pinterest...Amaze Balls!

Recipes, Skin Care, Flowers, Clothes, Shoes, yada yada yadda and submissive, dominance, bdsm, erotica.

Fabulous right?! Until I realized it was posting to my Facebook - holy shit!!

Lesson learned here is don't link it so you have to realize hours later (after everybody has seen it) that you have to delete it from your timeline.

I'm a Master dammit

This isn't the post I am planning on writing as soon as I wrap my head around it, but this was just too funny to pass up. In the interest of full disclosure I know exactly who this is and this is the same type of message he sent me a year ago, with the same picture. He doesn't know me, he has never seen a picture of me and I have never spoken to him on the phone but he believes that he is the man for me. He is answering an anonymous profile I have with nothing more than a description of a dominant man, 40 or over, tall and stocky.
**this is not edited**

master z

but you never give me a shot.  I'm a real master that has owned 24/7 live in slaves.  You keep wasting your time with these men that us you for sex then you neevr see them.  Just because he is older does not make him a master or wiser.  Why wont you smarten up?  What you seek is right here, i cant understand why you choose not too.  Stop with tthe age thing and change your ways.  Its not working for you and i'm 30 not a fuckign kid!

butterfly reply:

I don't know who you think this is but you've got the wrong person. But since you you really think that cursing and putting down a woman is the way to get her interested. That's probably why she never wanted you in the first place. In case you didn't realize begging and throwing a temper tantrum is not a complimentary feature for a dominant. If this woman doesn't want to be with you then move on to someone who wants to be with you.

master z

You have no idea what your talking about, and sick of these newbies. First of all nobody put you down or throwing a fit.  BUT you feel the need to tell your self that.  No it is you i just never sent a picture, and you complained i was not 40.  Everything i said is correct.  But i will play the game and call your bluff so i can prove i'm right. ok fine your not her, and ignore what i said.  Your looking for a real master in the life style, well you got him.  Show a little respect and dont you dare tell me about being a DOM.  I have learned from the best back home, and owned slaves.  Just because i'm telling it how it is does not mean i'm crazy or fake.  Your probably a guy or just taking peoples pictures.  All you will do is hide behind the computer and tlak shit.  and for your information i said one curse at the end of the email.  how was that towards you?  I dont beg and you seen my picture i got no problem getting laid.  But it is hard to fine a real person in the life style that likes what i like.  You know nothing about be, and judging me.  When you will probaly pick a guy that just wants his dick suck that is not in the life style.  It might of happne to you, but you will never admit it.  So liek i said you looking for the real thing you got it!

Just to be clear he has no problem getting laid but he can't spell to save his life.


This posting is about a new friend I made through Fetlife, which I refer to as FB for kinksters the only thing missing is the Like button. One of my goals was to attend a munch and expand my horizons a little. I knew of course that my intense shyness would prevent me from going there by myself and at the time I was single so I set out to find someone who would go with me. I looked through profiles of women in my area on Fetlife, reaching out to friend request them with a message of making friends and expanding my local horizons. One of the woman whose picture just looked inviting and friendly responded back. We exchanged a few messages and she agreed to meet me for coffee.  

We met up at Starbucks, not the one I usually reserve for my other type of coffee dates. Turns out she was in charge of a munch about 30 min away from where I lived. She was just like I thought she would be from her picture, warm and friendly. We spoke openly about experiences and such, while a woman at the table next to us listened intently and pretended to read. "A" invited me to join in the next munch she was hosting and said I could write out the name tags. This way I could see everyone who came in and talk without having to mingle.

I arrived at the munch not knowing exactly what to expect...would there be people there in kinky garb with whips and chains or nakedness on display like in the movies, lol. Nope just comfy clothes, smiles and a hug from "A". She introduced me to a few people as a newbie and then immediately put me to work. I was so grateful to have a purpose which allowed me to interact with the other members and stay in my comfort zone. Turns out that night there were 18 other newbies in the group of 88 attendees. It was fascinating just to watch the different types of people who came in to the restaurant. The group of made of up of all ages, both men and woman, couples and singles, Doms, Masters, subs & switches, all of which shared a common bond through bdsm.

At the sign in table I sat next to a young girl who was a sub in the same household as "A". They have a Master plus several other girls that all live together and the dynamics of this relationship are just fascinating. She was very friendly and when her Master came over to speak with her you could see the adoration in her eyes as she answered him. He was very flirty and I could see why people are drawn to him. Another man I spoke with there in detail was someone who teaches classes with in the bdsm world about relationships. I called him the cruise director because he new everyone, greeting them with a hug. He was one of those people you can just talk to for hours because he's so engaging. At one point a couple from the main restaurant came in to ask what was going on in here, "A" told them it was a performing artists group, LMAO! If they only knew.

The 2+ hours  went by quickly and before I knew it everyone was leaving to attend a play party somewhere, of which I was not going. If I can't go to a munch by myself, I definitely couldn't go to a party by myself, lol. I had a good time interacting with others in the lifestyle and just being around so many was overwhelming to my senses but I am definitely glad I went and I am grateful to "A" for taking me under her wing, making me feel comfortable enough to attend my first munch. Thank you "A".

Today I am thankful for so kids most of all, some of my family members, my friends and everyday I wake up to experience another day. Happy Thanksgiving to all!

PS I am also grateful for spell check to keep me from making myself look retarded at least spelling wise :)


I'd rather live life accepting who I am and loving it
knowing that I am not perfect,
than live my whole life pretending to be

Small World

I love my job. I get to meet new people, make them feel comfortable and when they leave feel sexy and fabulous. What more could I ask for.

When you enter my treatment room my goal is to make you feel relaxed and try not to focus on the fact that I'm going down under. Think of it as a form of therapy where all your inhibitions are down, trying to focus on anything else but the hair I am removing.

So when I am with a client we talk about anything and everything. Some talk about work, the kids, husbands, boyfriends, girlfriends, the dog...well you get the idea. I usually walk out of there knowing way more than people imagined themselves sharing. I never share my stories with my co-workers but I do get asked what could possibly be so funny?

My laugh is well...contagious I have been told and I do love to laugh, probably a little too loud.

The other day one of my regular clients came in for his service, bat and balls only. I always tell my male clients that I admire them for stepping up and making life a little less of a challenge for their significant other. Nobody likes hair in their teeth. Now personally I don't need my guy to take it all off but a clean up is definitely in order. I also don't care for super hairy backs, just in case you were wondering guys it makes you look like a brown bear getting ready for hibernation. The chest on the other hand is meant to be hairy unless your posing for a fitness magazine or auditioning for the 50 Shades of Grey FB page (which is nice to look at along with the latest crazy cat pics that everybody's ooohing and ahhing about).

Just a recap...chest hair good, back hair bad and nice trim will get you more bj's (just saying). Oh and guys its alright to freshen up your brows so it doesn't go from one side to the next, there is supposed to be a space in between.

Alright back to my he's on the table and I'm running through the regular talking points about his family, my kids, sporting events, blah blah blah and then I asked the question. Has your wife appreciated your waxing?

A standard question I ask all my clients because most everybody is waxing for somebody. Well the answer that came out was surprising to say the least. Yes his wife loves it, he says and not to give you too much information but we are involved with Domination & submission. At this point, inside I was smiling one of those really huge smiles, like from ear to ear.

Without batting an eyelash I asked and which one are you?

Before I had even asked the question I already new the answer but I didn't want to hurt is feelings if I was wrong but I wasn't. He was the submissive. Immediately my thoughts went to Mick & Molly because their blog is the only one I read that is the opposite, excellent tales of an ever changing relationship.

I could tell he was a little uncomfortable about confiding in me but I placed my hand on his and said I'm a submissive too. He was surprised and happy to have met another like himself. They had been delving into this lifestyle over the last 2 years and he had never spoken with anyone about it, only read about it on the Internet.

We chatted some more and soon he was hair free and our time was up. He sent me an email later expressing his gratitude for handling his outing so gracefully and making him feel so comfortable. All part of the service - hair free therapy, lol!

It really is a small world after all.

I found porn

I enjoy watching TV, there I said it and I'm not ashamed.

The shows I watch varies from drama, comedy, HW of which ever city they are in to documentaries - mobsters, how the world will look after people, serial killers, Hitler, drugs, slavery, etc. Of course Mad Men deserves a special mention because well its exactly what I love about the 50's style relationship.

Well recently I discovered The Men Who Build America, OMG its like watching porn to me. Don't judge me, lol!

There is nothing sexier than a man of power and this show is full of them. With names like Vanderbilt, Morgan, Rockefeller, Carnegie and Ford. I know the names I recognize that they made amazing contributions to society and that they didn't always play by the rules. Like bad boys in suits. Dominating men of power and the History Channel has been kind enough to put these stories on regular TV and I can watch them without hiding behind closed doors. Nobody knows that while I'm sitting at Panera's eating my salad, using their wi-fi (which blocks all the kinky sites), I'm watching my type of porn and getting extremely wet!

Tied up

"I let myself be tied up by fear instead of enjoying being tied up by him"

There must be a reason why people quite often start projects and at some point they feel overwhelmed, frustrated and stressed, so much so that in the end they quit (mmm wonder who that sounds like). Then after a while you wonder how you are going to start again. You think of things that you would like to write then don't because it becomes to overwhelming, beginning again. A lot of great ideas have flowed through my brain but never made it to this blog because of fear. The fear that something was lost and I wouldn't be able to find it.  My fear was that if I started writing again that I wouldn't know where to start or would have to explain myself.

But then you come into contact with someone, someone who has no fear. A stranger that touches your soul and you realize that you are missing out because of fear. His writing was the same type of courage that started me off on this journey 2 yrs ago. I realized neither of my fears are real, only something that I built up in my mind and that beginning again would not harm me, physically or emotionally. It would actually release the apprehensive feeling that had been living inside of me. The irony of holding on to this fear of writing again is that I am happy and this is the only thing that has been hanging over me. I love writing these quirky little blog entries so why would I deny myself such a release?

So here goes............


Ticket $40

Outfit $75

Realizing the banquet for your graduating senior is being held in the same hotel where you had your first D's experience...... Pricelessly embarassing

11 days till the nest is empty


Finally!!! The tax procrastination is over!!!
I have been pushing it off saying next week, well next week turned into the week of April 15th. So I pulled my head out of the sand and got to work. Now I am relieved to say...happy happy joy joy I am finished.

It was one of the reasons I haven't been writing, the other is because someone has been stalking me. Someone from my past who just doesn't seem to take the polite hint of me not answering for a reason. I have explained how I feel, I was quite clear but still he won't take no for an answer. I am at the brink of being pushed to do something I don't want to, but hopefully after he reads this he will realize I am not playing anymore. Enough is enough!

The vanilla reasons for my lack of writing, which I made clear a while ago have been going very well. I have been enjoying my child and all the activities that go along with being a senior. Before I know it he will be leaving for the summer and I will be...dare I say "an empty-nester" eeek, lol!

I had an interesting message from a Master on Fet. He read my profile and gave me his opinion about the wording. He spoke about need as opposed to want. Now every time I write something it makes me stop and think, so for that I say thank you.

I found a humorous list on CM and with the permission of the writer I would like to share the reason I fell out of my chair laughing (while I was procrastinating taking a break from tax entries).

Top 10 Things You'll Never Hear a sub say to their Master
  1. How was I supposed to know I wasn't supposed to put your leather pants in the washer?
  2. Yeah, right... SPANK THIS!
  3. Tomorrow night, I get to tie you up, right?
  4. God, you Dom's think the world should bow before you!
  5. And just what do you think you are going to do with that paddle?
  6. Sorry, I got a date tomorrow night. Some other time, perhaps?
  7. Spanking? I-THINK-NOT!
  8. Who died and left you in charge?
  9. Do your own damn laundry! And the #1 thing you will never hear a sub say to their Master...
  10. What do I look like, your maid?
OK, as I was going to post this I clicked over to CM and read this on a profile...maybe its the release of the tax endorphins but I can't giggling.

"Hi I am a recently paroled felon with a long history of violent crime, can I have your phone number?"

why yes, yes you can lol!

To submit or not to submit, that is the question

I wrote a post that has been sitting in draft form, it was one of the events that I wrote about but never felt good about posting. So thank you to usm from CM for inspiring me to touch on my feelings. That post will never see the light of this blog, this is the closest it will ever come.

Most everyone has heard or read the book: Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism. I haven't read it but have read others, although I suppose after writing this I should go out and pick up a copy.

"How does one submit? There are a number of prerequisites. She has to want someone to control her. She must trust her dominate enough to give it all up to him. That takes time, caring, and real communication from both partners. The requirements of a submissive are internal preparations." (pg. 33, para. 4)

I was reading the journals on CM and came across a posting by a woman (usm) my age whose profile was very similar to what I believe (after some mistakes life lessons) - mainly "I do not submit online". She goes on to write about how if you are looking for kinky phone sex, call a sex phone service. She mentions that she may move slow and give herself the time she needs to feel comfortable in what she does and that if this doesn't sounds very submissive, then good because I want to submit to someone doesn't mean I want to submit to everyone.  Hallelujah!!!

Her answer to this portion of the book was wonderful.

"This is how I know the fakes from the real Dom's. A real Dom would never expect a sub to submit instantly. Both the Dom and sub would know what the limits and expectations are. I have had "Dom's" try to tell me to do something, just to see how far I will go, when I haven't even met them. To me that reeks of insecurity on the Dom's part. If they trusted their ability to dominate someone, they would take the time to get to know the person they want to dominate and know what the sub is wanting as well. D/s is not a one way street where the Dom gets what they want and the sub is just happy giving any and all. There is a reason there are limits and communication about such limits. Also, the sub is looking for something, be it security, praise, acceptance, and/or understanding of who they are. I for one will give a lot to the right Dom, but I can't give much if I am made to feel like an object and not talked to or acknowledges as the person I am. I also need to know my limits are respected and accepted. I make my limits for very specific reasons and for anyone to tell me they don't accept limits, shows me they don't respect me enough to believe I know myself well."

I never wrote about a man I met on CM who said he wanted the same as I. We talked for several weeks and during that time he tried to "encourage" me to submit to him on the phone. He assured me that we would meet soon all during the time we spoke. I told him that after learning the hard way that I don't submit until after I have met to make sure there is a connection. He was bristly about it during the time we talked and never failed to bring it up daily, hoping to wear me down, almost guilt me. Now I'm not saying I didn't flirt with him but I never crossed the line that would make me feel uncomfortable. As a submissive woman that is challenging, because every instinct in my body and mind is saying submit, submit. The end result was I kept to my word (to myself) and right before we were to meet he decided that it wouldn't work out. I was disappointed but I had stood strong and for that I was grateful.

The questions it left me with afterwards men really want a woman who would just submit to anyone who happens to answer their message? Why don't they realize that trust needs to be built?

Oh yes, Happy St. Patrick's Day! Green beer for everyone!


I need my house painted, its been a while and the walls need to be freshened up. I hate painting with a passion. I'm not tall enough to reach the highest parts of my walls, even with a ladder (safely). Why the hell, you ask am I telling you this?

I have been reading journals on CM for the past few months and apparently if I were a financial Domme I could get it done for dominating a sub (usually male). Financial Dommes ask for money, gifts and favors  (they are referred to as tributes) from submissives in return for dominating & humiliating them, as far as I can tell. The vanilla version of FD could be strippers at a club. Men give woman money not for sex but for the thought of sex. Seems that most of these FD never meet their subs.

I found a site that had rules for advertising and communicating with others on SubsForDommes. I came across one FD who wrote about how its not as easy being a FD, Pampered Blaire. How it takes work to get to know your slaves, reminds me how I feel about dating - its like having a second job sometimes. Always interviewing, re-interviewing, going through resumes, making sure they know how to operate all the equipment, hands on trials, etc.

I even found a FD support group that helps men break away from domination. He writes about how Financial slavery is a psychological addiction, with characteristics similar to other major addictions, such as porn addiction and gambling addiction.

I am not judging this fetish, just exploring all my options on how to get my house painted.

Now if I could just not giggle every time I have to give an order or humiliate a man I would be golden.


There comes a moment when our lives change forever.
The moment we share our desires and vulnerabilities.
Sometimes the change in our lives is an answer to our prayers.

Building Blocks

Thoughts in my brain that only I understand.

On my Want page, I write about finding a Dominant man who balances my love of submission within a loving relationship. A man I feel safe with, who is honest and caring.

When I was a child I had a set of colorful wooden blocks that I would build cities with that stretched out all over the family room. You literally couldn't walk through or you would knock down a wall, which would bring down another part of the city. Building trust to move forward in any relationship is like building a city with blocks.

When you are building a relationship of trust, each block must be carefully placed so that the wall stays strong. If one block gets knocked down then you have to rebuild two other blocks from the damage that is done. The nice part is that hopefully that same block won't be knocked down again. Both will be very careful not to repeat the same mistake.

So when a block does get knocked out of place its nice to have your partner put it back and re-enforce it. Its a great feeling when he hears what is being said and responds positively, showing that he is working just as hard to keep the city from falling down.

It's nice to be heard and know that you matter.

Listening to the Universe

Several times a month I meet with people who are just finishing cancer treatments. We discuss their skin, hair and nail issues that come up during and after treatment. They learn how to take care of their skin, put on makeup and how to make time for themselves everyday. They walk in feeling sad and walk out with a big smile on their faces. The difference a couple of hours makes to them is beyond any paycheck I have ever received.

Last time I was with a group we had been speaking about hair and wigs. Some how we got on the subject of men and hair. How some men just refuse to let their hair go, with comb overs and such. I told the group that I thought there was nothing sexier than a man who was bald. A man who had the confidence to own his lack of hair.

It was almost like I had thrown it out to the universe because bald men came out of the wood work. I am on (cough) several dating sites (vanilla and ....) and I'll be damned if I didn't receive 4 separate messages - all from bald men. It was like the universe had said here you go, have a blast. 

After that someone else came back into my life and because I was feeling so open to the letting the universe guide me that I opened the door. This person came back full of words but in the end the actions didn't back them up, so I closed the door. I felt like I was still listening and that this wasn't meant to be. The difference is how I feel...peaceful, about my decision.

All the while I have been open to what is being shown to me, the universe has been sending more into my life and I am absorbing it all, letting it wash over me like a wave of happiness.

Leap of Kilts

This post started out as a wholesome description of leap year and somewhere along the way turned into the men with kilts post - what a leap! hahaha

Why do we need leap year?

The Gregorian calendar, which now serves as the standard calendar for civil use throughout the world, has both common years and leap years. A common year has 365 days and a leap year 366 days, with the extra, or intercalary, day designated as February 29. A leap year occurs every four years to help synchronize the calendar year with the solar year, or the length of time it takes the earth to complete its orbit about the sun, which is about 365¼ days.
The length of the solar year, however, is slightly less than 365¼ days—by about 11 minutes. To compensate for this discrepancy, the leap year is omitted three times every four hundred years.
In other words, a century year cannot be a leap year unless it is divisible by 400. Thus 1700, 1800, and 1900 were not leap years, but 1600, 2000, and 2400 are leap years.

Egyptians were the first people to add a leap day every four years. However, the Romans were the first to choose February 29th as the official date.

According to English law, February 29th was ignored and had no legal status. So a crime on the day is no crime at all.

Leap Year has been the traditional time that women can propose marriage.

There is a Greek superstition that claims couples have bad luck if they marry during a leap year.

A law once existed in Scotland forbidding a man to refuse a proposal made to him on February 29th. - Show me what's under that skirt Mr. Bond.

The Olive Tree

A confused sub came before a wise Master who adored her.

She felt that to submit to Him would mean she would open her heart to unbearable pain should He ever leave her. She hungered for Him and needed Him, but was ready to walk away in panic.

The gentle Master knelt her before Him and started a tale of love and devotion. As she looked up at Him, His arms began to widen and open like a large tree stretches it's branches to the sky. At that moment the Master appeared rooted to the floor and His impressive size towered above her like a giant tree. Then he began to speak.....
I'm here for and always no matter how far time and space takes us...Whether you walk away from Me today or you stay and serve Me, I will not turn from you. I am as patient as time itself, I will take not from you unless you give freely and completely of yourself, but I give onto you regardless..for My love is unconditional...
Like the olive tree that can both feed you and shade you, I am there seemingly eternal to your short life on this earth. If you need My fruit to feed your hunger, I will give you all the fruit you need. If your skin grows dry and loses its luster, the oil from My fruit will restore it and make it glisten.

When you need comfort, My leaves will gently caress your face with the slightest breeze. When you need discipline, My branches will correct you when the wind blows strong. If you just need My shade to protect you from the sun, My branches will shade and protect you. If you need warmth at the night My fallen branches will fuel the fire to keep you warm and safe.. If you need a refreshing breeze, My leaves will fan you and cool you down. You are my gardener.

When you submit to Me, you tend that which keeps Me vibrant and full of life. When you kneel under Me and till the soil, you give breath to My roots. When you water Me, My sap flows strong through Me raising my limping Branches. When you soil yourself collecting fertilizer with your bare hands, you strengthen and humble Me with your devotion.

Although My life will go on, life would not be the same without you.
Your dedication and unconditional care for Me keeps Me vibrant and nurtures My very core. The sustenance and protection I give you seems little reward for your servitude. Still the gardener serves the tree from her heart and the tree gives to her heart all the He can!

I am planted firmly on the ground and cannot follow you if you walk away from Me...But be assured I will survive. One hundred years later and two of your lifetimes; I will still be there, waiting for you in the same spot to offer you all that I do now.

Stay with me and be my gardener. You cannot get lost in Me for we are complementary to each other. I am your devotion, and you give meaning to my existence. Apart we live life and survive; together we bloom eternally!

....As the Master finished His last words, the sub cried herself to sleep at His feet. That night, He stood planted there like the Olive Tree offering her  His unconditional love and protection as she slept. As she would tend to Him with her devotion the next day...and everyday thereafter!

Author unknown

Today is about Women

Bloggers United for Human Rights is a community of bloggers dedicated to the principle that all human rights are inalienable. Not to be voted, or debated, or negotiated. Blog with us on 2/15 to support Women’s Reproductive Rights.

Today's post is not about sexy pictures and silly stories. Today is about a Women's Reproductive Rights. My rights, My daughters rights, My friends rights and the rights of the future women.

This is not about whether I want to have an abortion, it is about the right to make my own choices, for my body.

My cousin went to the doctor to have some hemorrhoids removed. The doctor didn't tell him he had to wait to decide. He didn't tell him he needed to have a sonogram to see it before the procedure. He didn't tell him he would have to sit through a presentation to decide whether to have them removed. He didn't tell him that he couldn't perform the procedure because it was illegal. He didn't tell him he would have to travel to another state or country for the procedure. He simply scheduled the procedure and the doctor performed it, because it was what they both decided was necessary of him.

I have two children and have never had an abortion but I have always said that if I chose to, for my own reasons, I definitely would without hesitation. I would also encourage my daughter or friend if that is what they wanted. I believe that I should have the last say in what procedures are done to my body and not someone from the government or church.

I believe a woman has a right to chose for herself. Here are some links of others who are fighting to preserve my right to chose, each in their own way. What are you going to do?

OBOS provides clear, truthful information about health, sexuality and reproduction from a feminist and consumer perspective. We vigorously advocate for women's health by challenging the institutions and systems that block women from full control over our bodies and devalue our lives.

 Our Silver Ribbon, Silver Ribbon campaign to trust women, for reproductive rights and justice

Reproductive Rights Prof Blog A Member of the Law Professor Blogs Network

NARAL Pro-Choice America  We are made up of pro-choice women and men across the United States. Together, we protect a woman's right to choose

Trust Women and Change the World The organization was formed to protect physicians – his colleagues – who are continuing on in his footsteps, and to work in states that have been neglected, to our detriment, by pro-woman organizations due to the overwhelming anti-choice environment within those states.


Vanilla gone...insane

I like to save these really great responses just for you guys. This one was from a vanilla guy whose profile didn't match up with mine (negative comments) and who I didn't find attractive. What can I say it happens but I always try to be gracious and say something kind and generic. Its not my fault that he decide to drive over the edge. But then again I do love reading these (giggle) a little too much.

Okie dokie...
I guess good-looking, well mannered men who know what they like are not you're type..
Honestly... I was not really THAT interested, but I figured I'd try to throw ya a bone...
You're just going on looks...
Lol... Ok, whatever...
Did male and female roles change over the past 20 years...
It seems as if women are only going by looks and men are looking for actual DEPTH in a woman..
There are NO women actually looking for an LTR on this site..
They are ALL looking for free dinners, one night stands and sugar daddies..
I give up on this site. To many ignorant, uncaring, non-intelligent, free loading, self-absorbed, "my SHlT don't stink", think their God's gift to the world, finicky, flaky, wanna-be-but-will-never-be-swimsuit model, materialistic, wouldn't know a good man if he came and bit them on the neck, women on here..
They are all looking for the 30 y/o, never married, millionaire, Antonio Banderas looking, Adonis while they're 40ish, divorced (because they think they can still get away with SHlT they used to pull when they were 20ish, hot and single) with three kids....
I'm NOT saying that's YOU.. Just the vibe I get from 99.999% of the women on here..
P.S. I've worked REALLY hard (starting from almost NOTHING) to get where I am today...
(3 bedroom home which I own, Maserati, Harley, etc)
Oh well.. Perfect guy here and you are going on looks alone..
(prepared to be alone for a looooong time)
Damn why did I say no...I could have had it all.

Sadly this is the last  treasure in my in-box, so you will just have to hear about boring stuff, lol.

Dating Yoda

This was from my D/s profile. This man read my profile and felt he needed to help me, because he said my wording was threatening. By threatening he meant that I asked for a picture and that if they couldn't provide one then I would chose not to answer.

Dating Yoda: "You might include that you're shallow, superficial and manipulative too, then we would have the whole story, but of course men know this otherwise your profile wouldn't be up for as long as it has been......."

Note - this guy has written me before but I chose to ignore it, but this time I waiting to get my oiled changed and really staring at the people in the waiting area had gotten old, so I decided to play (giggle).

Me: "You don't even know me, why are you so cruel?"

Dating Yoda: "I'm not cruel at all but as I said men do not like women who are shallow, superficial or manipulative of which you are. When you try to make somebody do something by threatening a certain action you're manipulative, and you can give me every excuse in the world because I have heard them all, but men hate this kind of behavior, written and real."

Me: "But why do you care? Why are you commenting on women's profiles?"

Dating Yoda: "You're looking for a man, I'm a man, so I read your profile and of course somewhere near the bottom you have this little threat about submitting a picture. Since it is you doing the looking, and I might be doing the responding, and I base whether I respond or not on what you have to say about yourself and your appearance, it irritates me to the point, since this is an open forum, that when you play games like this, I am going to say something if I don't like it. So not only are you shallow, superficial, and manipulative, but you can't take constructive criticism, you're never wrong, and you can't understand logic or common sense. I would say you wouldn't be high on my want list,and you won't be on another man's list either."

Me: "If a respondent choses not to send a picture then I am letting them know that I will be choosing not to reply.
The point of the profile is not to appeal to everyone, it's to appeal to someone who connects with you. Not everyone is a match."

Dating Yoda: "It is you doing the looking you do the providing. We don't come on here looking to abide to rules, or be manipulated into doing something.We respond based on what you say about yourself and your appearance. It makes absolutely no sense to respond to an ad without seeing who it is that I am responding to. I totally agree on your point as to connecting with each other, and that not everybody is suitable for the other, but I would never, and most men thatI know and talk to about this, abide by a threat that if I don't send a picture you're not responding. On that alone, whatever good there might be about you, and I am sure there is plenty, it would and did kill any want to be with you. I can tell you for sure that any man with intelligence and class will go right by this ad with that kind of manipulation in your writing. Those that do abide by what you wrote are wimps or like to be dominated, and maybe you are a dominant personality, I don't know."

Me: "I have enjoyed your judgmental remarks (leaving me no reason to wonder why you are always on-line looking), thank you for the giggle"

Note: Oil change was done and so was I.

Dating Yoda: "'Im not always on-line looking, if I really wanted to look I would put my own ad in, but it is not hard to be amused by stupid women like you who claim you have all this good about yourselves, and it turns out that you are just blobs looking for a free ride, with no understanding of men, no want to understand men, and then blaming the world for your problems. Giggle all you want my dear, you're alone, I'm not. My girlfriend is actually right here watching as we, you and me, have gone through this little charade. Ta ta......" 

Ladies calm down, he's mine LMAO! RAD (Rent a Dom) you better watch out somebody is moving in on your territory.

Hey Bitch

As promised...

I received this message in reply to a D/s website profile I have. The first version, isn't horrible and I would have responded to it because...well because I don't like to judge to quickly.

 "If you have any idea that you and I are not meant to be together you don't need to respond.  I am manly and seven feet tall.  The best introduction a real manly man need to offer his woman is security.  There is nothing better then a dance partner who knows how to lead.  It might be tricky to dance with a seven footer but those are the risks a woman must consider." 

This is the actual response I received.

"Hey Bitch,
     If you have any idea that you and I are not meant to be together you don't need to respond.  I am manly and seven feet tall.  The best introduction a real manly man need to offer his woman is security.  There is nothing better then a dance partner who knows how to lead.  It might be tricky to dance with a seven footer but those are the risks a woman must consider.  Bitch!" 

I had to read it twice because I thought I was missing something. Why he chose to include bitch I still haven't figured out. Silly seven foot man, maybe the air is thinner up there.

I love these types of responses, so amusing!


Well, Well, look who it is...

No I'm not dead, still here bathing in vanilla and probably will be for the next 3 1/2 months. My baby is leaving the nest soon and I want to soak up as much as I can before my life changes forever. Not only is my baby traveling with a musical group again this summer but he is joining the armed services as a musician. I am happy, sad, proud and everything in between. To realize that a whole 18 yrs has passed as slow as molasses as I was living it but as quick as a blink of the eye as I look back. Like a person who is parched I am drinking every moment in as quickly as I can before its gone.

That is not to say that I haven't been amusing myself. My friend Sky told me that I HAD to tell you about my used car lunch date analogy.

I know this will come as a shock but I have been extremely disappointed with the lack of quality D's in my area. So I went trolling on some vanilla web sites (don't laugh). In my profile I wrote something at the bottom about wanting a man who was in control in and out of the bedroom. Thinking well if I can't have D/s at least I can have someone who is confident (again I don't appreciate the giggling).

So this man answers with a hearty - lets meet for coffee, be here at this time and this place. Now I have to say I was hopeful, here was a guy that just made a decision and went for it.

Lets stop here for a moment and let me explain how I feel about first meetings using the car analogy. I have a used car I want to sell, it has been cleaned out and shined up so that the a prospective buyer will want to drive it. The paint job is great not a speck of rust, the inside is slightly worn but still in good shape, the engine turns over but you can tell that its an older car...the car has been cared for and has a great deal of charm. 

So this guy shows up for our date, no not really a date, more of a first meeting. What's that saying you never get a second chance to make a first impression. Well he's never heard that saying (I will wait why you get out that belly laugh).

The car he was selling hadn't been cleaned out, there were McDonald's wrappers on the floor. The bumper was rusty and I don't think the engines been turned on in a while. Not to mention one of the seats was was tilted forward and needed to be repaired. This man car had no charm, it was a case of false profile advertising.

But what the heck I was already there and I looked great because I had just come from a meeting. So I sat there and waited and I waited but it never came. There wasn't one inkling of confidence in that man, it was like watching paint dry compared to the Dominant men I have been with. I couldn't get away fast enough before he asked me out.

Ohhh one thing I noticed about these vanilla profiles - every guy described himself as - good looking, athletic and have a great sense of humor. They all walk on the beach, understand romance and take bubble bathes. Come on REALLY. If all these guys are so freaking amazing, then why are they on these dating sites? Just a question, lol.

I have a few more to share tiled bitch and yoda dating to the rescue. Soon I promise.


A sub friend of mine is fishing in the vanilla pond. She is still caught between wanting to have someone but knowing she can never go back to vanilla. I understand, every so often I go there also. But I know that what I want won't be found there because I want it to be part of my life and not just a sexual encounter.

When she tries to explain to the men about D's, they just don't get it. Most of them reply "I can tie you up and spank you, no problem". Unfortunately no matter how good looking they are or how strong of a man they are they just don't get it. It's like seeing a really hot guy only to realize he's gay, you just know he will never be what you want.

She will figure it out eventually and I will probably through my line back in the pond at some point when I get frustrated.

One of the things I particularly love about this lifestyle is the honesty, I know I've said this before. This is a lifestyle that allows you to work out hard and soft limits and expectations before you commit, to a scene or a relationship. This isn't something I knew about when I first began my journey but after educating myself I now know I have a say before anything happens. I think that is one point that vanilla relationships could benefit from in their world. What if before they decided to commit to each other they both sat down and she said ok these are my limits and he said these are my expectations. Compromises were made on both sides but in the end an agreement was come to that they both could live with and growth on certain issues was agreed upon. I wonder if there would be as much divorce as there is today.

So I had a lunch date and I met someone. There was no instant connection but it was comfortable. Afterward we spoke about limits and expectations. He couldn't agree to my limits and I couldn't agree to his expectations of not respecting them. In the end we parted ways and there were no hard feelings.

Ok this is the part where I have to say...what is is about guys wanting to (oh my god) pee on a woman? LOL
I can honestly say that MAYBE in a trusted committed relationship I might be able too but not with someone right away. Things like that have to be built up to, complete trust and honesty have to be instilled before limits can be pushed.

At the same time I was talking with someone else but in the end he didn't believe I was submissive. lol Reminds me of those guys who would send me messages and say "call me now if you are really submissive" (yeah I'll get right on that). He felt I was more into kink than I was a submissive. I am not in the habit of trying to make someone accept me for who I am because that is why I chose this lifestyle in the first place, because people are accepting of me.


PS I added several links to leathernroses with tons of great information.

The Good Stuff

So my "friend" read my last post and asked me "What's with you and these guys?!?!  Are you just automatically attracted to losers?  Are losers attracted to you?  What is it?!?!  LOL!".

Ouch!?  He said he was trying to be funny. Really I don't post all my encounters on here, just the really outrageous ones. There are others that have passed through that weren't worth mentioning and some that were special and I choose to keep them to myself. You guys only get the really "special" ones and they usually turn out to be losers. Case in point, lol.

I looked this morning and I couldn't find the post but over the holiday this guy, who I never met and never spoke to in person, sent me an email. Mind you this hasn't been altered other than removing his name & phone number.

"Hi I like to wish you MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR. I can't stop thinking about you, but I remember that you wanted to have a  DOMINANT man in your life, and I wonder if you ever found what you were looking for. I know that I can make you  a very  happy woman. I promise you  we  will click if you give it a try!!  A strong connection for good friendship and romantic relationship. if you are interested in a COMBINATION OF A ROOMMATE, LOVER,  AND YOUR BEST  FRIEND TO SHARE YOUR LIFE WITH. THAT WILL  PAMPER YOU AND TRULY LOVE YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE. "

After the new year began he sent another, now I never answered the other one and when we originally corresponded I told him we weren't a match. It was the roommate part of his original email that I didn't want to have anything to do with. There is something about a guy who says he will relocate before he even gets to know you, kind of creepy.

"are really SUBMISSIVE mature woman  who still have a healthy sexual appetite, you really love  SEX  you definitely my kind of girl, then you need a real man who will respect you, and make a happy woman. I promise you  we  will clickif you give it a try!!   I would love to eat your sweet  PUSSY  suck  your nipples, and kiss you all over. with  A strong connection for good friendship and romantic relationship. if you are interested in a COMBINATION OF A ROOMMATE, LOVER,  AND YOUR BEST  FRIEND TO SHARE YOUR LIFE WITH,   we definitely should talk.  honestly I need only one honest woman like you. to share my life with.little about me, I am not perfect, I am divorced, retired, white male, honest, loyal, non smoker, no criminal record, disease free, very passionate, one woman man  with a heart of gold. who can offer a lot to one sincere woman. I am not interested in your weight or the size of your  BRA  or one night stand, just your personality. if you earn my trust, then you won my heart. because TRUST COMMUNICATION. COMPROMISE, and respect of each others opinion, is a must. for a companionship that based on total respect. if you really looking for decent man for a long term healthy monogamous relationship, not for a fling or one night stand  to truly love you. TALK TO ME.  (insert phone number)  let's get acquainted, you won't be disappointed. No games and No regrets

A dream you dream alone is only a dream. but A dream you dream together is reality."
We all have dreams and desires. Why shouldn't they become reality? By the way, it will feel right. only if we make it happened!"

Now come on, do you really think I could pass up sharing this gem, lol! These are the little things that make me giggle.

Taking care of business

Life has been busy and I haven't had much time for myself but I felt like I needed to write so here is a snippet of one of the guys that have come across my radar lately.

My girlfriend is on and she told me that this time she is going to at least make an effort. Every week she is going to email at least one man to let him know she is interested. I love my friend and I want her to find a companion that treats her well, she deserves it. So I thought what a great idea, now my first attempt didn't go well but you know when you fall down, get the f back up and try again.

Oh and I know that the anti-tattoo guy did me a favor by letting me know so early on. The reason I said rejected was because this was one of the first times I had initiated first contact - like on Star Trek, ha ha. So not to be deterred I saw a guy on FL and I initiated a conversation. Well I wouldn't say it was a conversation, I asked his opinion about where to get a tattoo (because he was local and had a picture of just his tattoo), he replied and then said "we have to talk". I flirted back, "did he want to talk about the weather, sports, politics?" He replied "funny" and I said "thank you." (waiting patiently for him to get to the point)

 He replied again with "we have to talk" and I said "well for a guy who wants to talk you haven't said much. I am a straight forward kind of gal please tell me what you want to talk about because I don't read minds :)" (my usual sassy self).

I should mention that on his profile he was looking for a slave and he liked some of the aspects of Gor, which I don't know a lot about.

Now this was his reply...

"ok that's one NEG all subs need to read minds LOL
I wanted to know more about what your into I saw your CM profile told me a bit more then here so what are you looking for and what are you into".

I get that question all the time, even though in my profile it says clearly I am looking for someone who wants to get to know me before they ask my sexual preferences (just funny that way). So I reply with what I am looking for, vanilla & D's blah blah blah. His reply "and".

I said, "well I'm not going to go into what I'm into but I will tell you that I'm not a slave I am a sub. Then I said that I had been rude and not asked him what he was looking for."

He wrote back "sorry i don't think your for me no place have I ask for sex or any sexual questions i didn't offer to play with you i did ask to know about you and what you were looking for and what you were into. maybe your not used to people like me REAL i had a 2 year D.s relationship and never had sex sex is a very small part if and of the lifestyle ............ anyway you didn't seem to read what I said you only saw what you wanted to ........ i truly hope you find what your looking for but i don't think it's me."

(scratching my head) My first thought is always that I messed up, so my brain went into analyze mode (wait am I ever out of analyze mode? lol). I went back and looked at the conversation because I thought maybe I had answered the question wrong or misread what he wrote... nope.

I think if I really had answered the question wrong he should have made it clearer. I think he was looking for a slave and I didn't fit that, which is alright just be a man and say that, don't blame me. Another one who did me a favor because clearly there were some communication issues.

Lesson learned here??? ask for clarification, stop talking about my damn tattoo, lol I don't know.
Just a girl taking care of business and trying to figure it all out.

PS I just got this ap for my phone called 7Words - super addicting!!


After getting advice from RAD (rent a Dom) on what to say, I wrote to a guy whose picture and profile I had seen many times online. I thought he was handsome and seemed to have a good personality (from what you can tell from a profile).

So my RAD said "You might try a little humor, which I know you can do, a little about yourself and what caught your attention about him to make you want to send him a message.  Not too short, but not too long.  Just enough to catch his attention, give some preliminary information, and leave it in his court to reply, tell a bit about himself, and then you can begin to get more specific in further emails, if you both still are interested".

OK good advice, since I don't typically reach out to men. So I wrote a cute, not to long introduction (gaining a new respect for men who have to put together these first emails).

He wrote back immediately that he was interested, good. So I wrote back again and then I didn't hear from him which was strange but I didn't think to much about it. When I was checking my outgoing mail on CM I noticed that the email had been sent twice and one had a picture attached. A picture of a man I had never seen before. I contacted CM and I think my account was hacked - Ahhh!

So I wrote to the guy and explained the situation, apologized and gave him my personal email address. He was very understanding, blah blah blah. So in one of his emails he wrote that "he wasn't sure how he felt about my wanting a tattoo", (butterfly on the back of my neck, representing me as a submissive).

Well then, I told him and sent him, a picture of the one I already have on my ankle. I told him it represented me and my kids, something I did for myself. His response was "I don't know how I feel, I will have to think about it". REJECTED!!

I told him I understood and wished him luck with his search. I have to respect his feelings because I have been on the other end with guys who have a ton of tattoos.

RAD said, "Oh well, if he was that concerned about something little like that then he isn't for you anyway". My sub friend says "NEXT", lol!